


Lullaby (Markson One Shots)

by animeconfession12



Category: GOT7
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Happy Ending, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance, Sad Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2020-05-28 15:54:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 44,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19397398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animeconfession12/pseuds/animeconfession12
Summary: Just Markson one shots





	1. The Little Prince

“When are we arriving?” 

The soft voice of the boy who sat on the back seat echoed in the car, joining the harmony of an old radio playing from the front. His voice as soft that it melted into the melody that was quite annoying to him. Being forced to listen to it almost every time they decided to go on a trip or vacation somewhere. His eyes hid behind the soft light brown bangs as his hands were curled into sweater paws out of the yellow hoodie he wore rubbing his eyes out of tiredness he felt almost whole day of riding.

Car passing by had already bored him to death cause with a view to entertain him self, looking at the fast car passing by and their image being as quick as the lightning or The Flash himself causing only the glowing red and yellow lines to be seen, he killed the fun in everything. When he didn’t get an response, when he sighed looking again out of the window to the sky that seemed as black as the deepest pits of well due to streetlights. None star was able to be seen, as if they were hiding from the human eyes. His eyes narrowed, squinted in such childish manner trying to sharpen the image of outside of the window. Not having his lenses with him was hard enough cause he couldn’t sleep with them, and it is not like he got any sleep from the radio that was playing.

He searched for the stars until his eyes started burning from the pressure put on them. He rubbed his eyes once more, cursing this morning when he forgot his earphones under his pillow where he usually kept them. Being rushed that morning by his mother to get ready he forgot them and now was sentenced on listening to an old radio for almost whole day. Rumbling around he took his phone out that was showing nine pm which meant they’ve been traveling for almost twelve hours.

“Don’t squint too much honey, it isn’t good for your sight.” His mother reminded, looking over her seat where the boy was, her hair black and curled shoulder length. It was like they were programmed to say only the things they had answer on, and that, let’s be honest kind annoyed Mark sometimes. He smiled a little nodding his head and suppressing an urge to curse? Which he by the way, wasn’t allowed to do so. His life has been monotone and it was always about same things. ‘Don’t do this, don’t do that… be like this, be like that…’ So basically he grew to be son for example, whose deepest desire was to have a little change.

He landed his head gently on the window, despite feeling every dent and bump on the road. Closing his eyes he tried to drift off once again not knowing how much they will drive more, but his uncontrollably beating heart didn’t allow him for some reason. It was like he was deeply praying for something to happen which would make this summer memorable. Going to different town, meeting the cousin he hasn’t seen almost 5 full years and praying for a little change in his life. He smiled with the corner of his lips and pulled a hood over his messy hair to make it more comfortable to sleep when he closed his eyes and crossed arms over his chest as if he tried to play a duvet.

He always dreamed of the summer where he would finally find a boyfriend, cause it was what he discovered as soon as he was aware of his existence. No one knew, no one wished to know and Mark prefer to say it that way. Cause, knowing his parents were really religious and proud Christians, the mention of him liking boys was not welcomed at all. But as I said he dreamed, he dreamed of having someone, not that pretty not that beautiful but someone average that would suit him by character. Although a little of muscles and flawlessness wasn’t unwanted at all. But as each summer he prayed, each one he was disappointed cause beside from playing games and going outside to take a walk with friends nothing special or memorable happened. So in the back of his mind he had that warning not to put his expectations so high.

“We’re here.” His dad announced when he stopped an engine and looked over his shoulder to where Mark almost, almost, fell asleep while dreaming of specific kind of summer he wanted to have but was actually not going to get. His face grimaced a little, snapping his eyes open with a small and soft groan past his lips and looking outside of the window to see already familiar two-floor house when they parked in parking lot. His sighed, low key happy he got to outstretch his stiffened legs when he slowly opened the car door and went out. 

Trying to crack his bones on their place, he felt tight hug around his shoulders that only caused him to cough violently until he was freed from the strong grasp of his aunt that was now apologizing to Mark for being so careless but soon after that pinching Mark’s cheek and cooing him like a baby he was. He didn’t protest, cause his nature was polite and kind so he just went with it like the water went down the river. Over shoulder of his aunt he saw his uncle and the kid about his height, having red hair and black hoodie over his skinny almost bony frame. Tight black jeans were hugging his legs perfectly as the boy himself wore a big smile and was wearing green lenses which made him really extra. That’s what Mark thought until he was pulled for the wrist by the smaller and dragged from the house yard.

“Mark goes with me! Put his stuff in my room will ya?!” The boy yelled, his hand going to cave his mouth for greater echo of the voice. Mark could see displease written over his parents faces but the wink aunt was giving him actually helped him relax when he was dragged down the street. His legs hurting from how much he sat, and his back was aching as if he had the most amazing sex in his life, at least that’s what they say it feels like. His hair was messing even more as the strong wind caressed his face until the house was no longer in the sight. His hand fell limp against his side, and before he got to collect his thoughts he was hugged once again, but this time he wasn’t coughing violently, he laughed a little.

“Bamie I need to breathe!” Mark said jokingly, his hands going in between two males to push another a little, but not fully as he regained his oxygen.

“God! You look so pretty! And I can see you lost some weight… Like… You look wow!” BamBam said in excited voice, almost squealing from happiness and surprise, touching Mark over the torso to see if he missed something and the older boy was weirded out as he laughed at the silliness of the smaller. “Whoa six pecks! Someone was visiting gym lately?”

“Yeah, for past three years.” Mark admitted proudly with a soft smile after BamBam showed him thumbs up. And if he thought the first meeting after five years would be unpleasant and filled with unpleasable silence he sure did not expect to be this cheery and chill, and above all comfortable and silly. He didn’t question his cousin’s intentions, when he, once again was pulled down the street, going through the dark alley on each side filled with houses and on each 4 feet enlightened by street light. The younger boy was talking about all kinds of random stuff, throwing a lots of facts and questions at Mark even the one whether he was gay or not after he himself confessed to have a boyfriend.

Mark didn’t hesitate to open up to BamBam, not once. He felt like if anyone was suppose to know it probably was BamBam who he trusted the most despite the five years they haven’t seen each other. He was like an open book by the time they arrived to the basketball playground, enlightened with the yellow light. Mark looked above his head, his eyes glistening at the sight of hundreds of stars above it. Each one shine brighter than the other and each one was painting sky in such glamorous way. Mark liked stars, he liked the sight of it and he liked the way they reminded him for what he most desired, reminding him to stand hard on the ground and to look up to his dreams. Dreams that were mostly ruined, but he still pushed himself to believe and look up to them.

He was shaken from his trans when BamBam placed his hands on Mark’s shoulder and slightly shook him from his trans. Boy’s confused and flawless face met smaller boy’s intense gaze that was suggesting no good. The boy wanted to lay down and look at the sky, just to examine each star and to admire the silver-golden rays that were spreading from them. He wanted to lost himself in that galaxy and never find a way out but there he was. On the playground filled with bunch of boys that were playing basketball and some of them intensively looking in the direction of the two boys that seemed to be clueless but yet they knew BamBam. Their focus was on the new kid BamBam was talking to and Mark could feel burning holes in the side of his face.

It made him uncomfortable, non the less but he ignored it as he focused on his cousin whose lips were moving but the boy couldn’t quite catch what he was saying until the last three words getting past his lips. “Okay got it?”

“Sorry, I wasn’t listening.” The boy admitted shaking his head softly, and giving a soft smile to BamBam that crossed his arms over his chest and pinched the bridge of the nose shaking his head before speaking again. “I said, pick any boy you like here and we’ll arrange you a date. Except that dork there, he’s mine.”

He pointed at the turquoise haired male with brown roots against his scalp, wearing black basketball jersey and looking over his shoulder clueless as if what BamBam was talking about and titling his head aside. Not long after that Mark nodded his head with small giggle as he was pushed towards the playing ground where all eyes now were on him and he couldn’t help but to feel anxious starting at all guys that gathered up around him and the younger male that introduced him to the rest. As well as Mark remembers there was guy named Jaebum who was well built and had broad shoulders, Jinyoung the most decent guy among them all, Yugyeom who is BamBam’s boyfriend, Youngjae baby of the group cause he couldn’t help but squeal at Mark’s beauty.

Mark was asked if he knew how to play basketball on which he replied that he does, but let’s be honest he didn’t want to play after the all hours he spent riding in the car. All he wanted is to lay down and look at the open sky until he falls asleep, to get through every possible case scenario for this summer and thinking if entertainment he would like to have during the break. But instead he was on the field looking as two captains picked the player for their own team. Mark was in Jaebum’s team with Youngjae while Jinyoung had BamBam and Yugyeom.

But as if universe heard his prayers one loud voice interrupted them and turning around, Mark was stunned. Male about his height, maybe taller appeared just right behind Jaebum, brown hair brushed together and made small ponytail on top of his head. The hair that couldn’t be collected was covering his forehead in such pretty manner as the puppy eyes peeked under it. Muscles of the arms flexing with each movement make made when he high fived all of them until ne stood right in front of Mark with raised eyebrows. 

“Who is this cutie?” He asked turning to the rest who rolled their eyes for some reason, even BamBam before he spoke, “My cousin.” 

Mark who was standing there, almost speechless to the comment but also not putting his hopes high cause almost everyone here told him he is cute, even though he couldn’t quite pin point what it was that’s cute with him. So he shrugged it off, offering a hand shake to the latter male who scanned him from tip of toes to the head before taking Mark’s hand into his own and shaking it. “Mark.”

“Jackson.” Male said, his voice honey-like as he spoke, his eyes soft and searching the deepest of smaller boy’s. He warm hand shaking his sure was missed when the latter pulled back with a huge grin he seemed to wear always and the boy blinked couple of times thinking if it is possible that Jackson just winked at him. It was rather chatty around him but he didn’t quite catch what they were talking about as he only just stared at the male in front of him and beat his head over whether Jackson winked at him or not. But so far he had a habit of misunderstanding things so he just shook his head and looked at BamBam who had a troubled expression on his face debating with Jinyoung. “We have odd number of players now.”

“Well since I am late, I’ll just pass this one.” Jackson said as he sat down on the bench in front of the others and leaned back looking at the others. But Mark saw this as an opportunity to just pass the game and lay down on the bench until they are finished with the game so he spoke, “No, I’ll sit. I don’t feel like playing either and I didn’t bring my contact lenses so I’m kind of useless while blind.” 

He said with a soft smile, rubbing the back of his neck with his fragile fingers and putting his hand into his pocket. He glanced at Jackson who wasn’t looking at him but was already taking his phone and cigars out of his pocket of the sweatpants. Mark furrowed his eyebrows at the small package of the cigars and lighter inside of it, as well as the phone that was lighten up to see somewhat weird wallpaper of skull that was smoking. He would lie if he said that the action of other male didn’t hurt him a little, cause it did as he at least expected a thank you. Others seemingly agreed apologizing to Mark but there wasn’t a need for it so he just nodded his head and was about to sit on the bench when Jackson spoke, “Can you hold this for me?”

“Yeah…” Mark said quietly taking the box and the phone to his soft hands without even sparing a glare to another, but once the male passed his lifted his head to look after him and before he got to roll his eyes, his jaw slightly dropped when he saw the said male taking of his shirt and exposing tattoo he had on his back. Flowers scattered all over his upper back with a snake crawling in between them along with his spine. The tattoo was quite feminine in all but for some reason it looked really good on the broad shoulders of the said male who took a ball to his hands and started shooting from the line for three points.

Not wasting any more time than needed to stare, he led down on the bench propping his head with his hands under it after he placed a phone and the box of cigars flat on his chest. He folded his legs on the bench cause he hated the way his hipbones were peeking under his hoodie and popping up against the yellow light casted upon his flawless skin. He sighed closing his eyes gently after he watched the stars, his heart fluttering as on the closed lids he could see Jackson’s bare chest moving while he played basketball.

“Markie don’t fall asleep!” BamBam shouted as he was tightly hugged by Yugyeom who fake tried to steal the ball but except that using it as an excuse to cling and examine each part of BamBam’s body. Mark shook his head gently and was beyond tired to actually answer the younger boy. The twelve hours of driving got to him, his lids were heavy and each time he closed his eyes it felt like he was sleeping and going to another world but once he opened them weakly he was faced with reality his mind didn’t think of staying in. So he closed it, letting the tiredness and serenity of his mind to consume him and each fiber of his body as he didn’t want to move at all. Soon enough, it felt like he was floating, lost in his own dreamland he liked so much. 

His dreamland was always made of ocean and the open starry sky that was reflecting against the surface of the ocean making Mark float in the galaxy. Sometimes he would outstretch his arm and look through his fingers just to check if it was dream but he could see his hand and the watch on his wrist. Indicating that to him this wasn’t a dream and that way he would escape anxiety that was sometimes consuming him and sometimes when he would lost his breath. It was way much better than reality until the fresh wind that was brushing across his face was replaced with a hot breath on his face.

Opening his eyes, his breath hitched and pupils went wide a little bit when he noticed Jackson hovering just above him. His arm resting on leaner while another one was on his hip. His sweaty bangs fell over his forehead as his body shined so perfectly upon the light. Mark stared into his puppy eyes for a moment as his heart beat rapidly due to quick shake from his sleep. He didn’t even proceed word Jackson was forming with his mouth when he pulled back. Mark could swear he hear low ‘cute’ being said to his face but his mind still was hazy to have such early conclusions. Cause after all why would someone hot as Jackson tell someone boring like Mark that he is cute. 

Mark lazily lifted from the bench, observing his surroundings and than glancing at BamBam who held a cigarette between his fingers and took a few smoke before exhaling. Yugyeom was taking smokes from the same cigarette while he could notice Youngjae wasn’t even around anymore. On the playground floor in front of the bench and opened the beer bottles before taking few gulps out of them. Mark felt anxious cause this actually was his first encounter with such things as alcohol and cigarettes. He rubbed the sleep of his eyes when he heard BamBam talking to him, “You must be so tired to fall asleep on that bench?”

“To be honest…” Mark uttered looking at Jackson who sat right next to him on the bench and was almost finishing his cigarette with final puff of nicotine smoke going into the air before he dropped it on the floor and stepped on it, twisting his ankle. He was now sure feeling uncomfortable, cause to be honest he felt like he was standing out but on the other side he really was since it was his first time hanging out with BamBam’s friends. It all nay be normal but it wasn’t usually for Mark who coughed when Jackson blow a smoke into his face just for fun. Mark grimaced his face, and swayed with his hand in front of it just to get to the clean air. The really strong smell pierced through his nostrils and went down to his lungs. “You should take him home.”

Jackson said softly as he looked at BamBam who raised his eyebrows. Displease written over his forehead and Mark could’ve read it. Looking at his wrist, watch was showing a little past 11pm even though was 10 something when they came, so obviously the younger boy is going to complain about the time he was out. He was totally different from Mark and was social unlike Mark. Mark had few friend back home but they would usually go to movies or play games in basement, not once did one of them think for something bigger and more exciting. He shook his head gently, rubbing his eyes with sweater paws before replying softly. “It’s okay I know my way home.” 

“You shouldn’t go alone, it really is dangerous at this hour.” Jaebum said as he took a sip from his beer and Jinyoung popped the bottle cap of another beer handing it too Mark with wide smile on his face. Mark took a moment to process what he was giving him and gently shook his head swaying with his hands in no needed sign. 

“It’s root beer, it’s not alcoholic.” Jinyoung said with a sweet smile, dimples showing in such wonderful and beautiful way that made Mark shakily take the bottle and take a sip. Getting goosebumps down his spine as the bitter taste on his tongue appeared and stayed few moments after the gulp was swallowed. “If you want I can escort you home after you drink it?” 

He offered but Mark could see the glare Jaebum gave him as if they had something planned after the beer session and he was in strong believe he does not want to know anything about it. His head showed negative once again when he took another sip of the bear, trying not to be out standing part of the party and wanting to see the bottom of the bottle as soon as possible even though the taste was so awful. 

“I’ll escort you home than.” Jackson offered, his arm flying on the leaner behind Mark while he pulled the gum ponytail off so his hair fell on each side of his hair, a bit moisty and wet but it suited him perfectly and hundreds of case scenarios went through Mark’s head. He pushed them back not to be disappointed when nothing happens so he just nodded his head slowly as if he said please. 

“You don’t have to bother, I’ll just endure until BamBam is ready to go home.” Mark said but Jackson shook his head gently and patted Mark’s back softly.

“Am not taking no as an answer.” He said as he got up, opening the small package of cigars he had and frowning a little before checking his pockets and finding a little money he had, probably just enough to buy another package of the cigarettes. Mark guessed and his thoughts soon were voiced out by Jackson who looked at him quickly. “I hope you don’t mind us stopping off by tobacco shop?” 

“Not really. It’s okay.” He said in a soft voice after he said his goodbyes to the rest of so call it gang. His timid footsteps trailing behind Jackson just because tiredness was consuming him and his breath still was hitched for some reason as he tried to catch it while walking. As soon as they rounded building where the stairs were, Mark supported his weight by the wall of it holding for his chest and inhaling deeply which Jackson noticed quickly approaching. “You okay?”

“Yes, just tired I guess.” Mark replied in soft voice, inhaling one last time as he composed his harmonical breathing again. His hand separating away from the wall just to lend on Jackson’s shoulder for support instinctively but as soon as he realized his hand was off another’s shoulder while small ‘sorry’ went past his lips. Jackson shaking his head gently told Mark to sit on the stairs and lean against the wall until he buys cigars just on the top of the stairs and that he’ll be quickly back. So soon enough Mark was sitting at the middle of the stairs leaning against the wall with his yellow hood on top of his head. His light brown bangs peeking under it and his tired eyes closed, drifting of from time to time.

The night was developing the sky even more, pin pointing the stars on the galaxy blanket, stars were shining strongly as so brightly than anything was not matter compared to them. Mark had big plans for the future, but what he wanted the most is just to get lost one day, to disappear from his home and go meet what he couldn’t. To meet people, to make potential friends, to say ‘go away’ to his anxiety. He had many wishes he wanted to accomplish, he smiled softly when the shooting star went over the night sky. Closing his eyes he softly whispered, “A little change please…” 

He pleaded truthfully, his eyes still closed gently as he played with his fingers and as sleep once again was consuming him. His mind fought the dream that was consuming him while small lamp attached to building threw innocently white rays on the stairs and on Mark as well who only smiled again for no reason. Hearing the pair of heavy footsteps behind him, he flinched but when he heard a voice of the male he immediately relaxed. His head resting upon cold wall as he soon enough turned it to meet the latter who sat next to him.

“You better?” 

Mark nodded his head gently, dropping his head down and feeling a really faint and dull pain in his chest. But he was used on it since long time ago, his body was exhausted and forced to being moved around even though he knew how much he was tired. Inhaling deeply the strong smell of cigars went to his nostrils and he slightly furrowed his eyebrows before turning his head aside. Jackson lighten up a cigarette once again and took few smokes before puffing them in the air. The smoke disappearing in thin air as Mark wondered how people could smoke the substance as strong as that.

Jackson must have noticed the troubled expression another had as he spoke gently, getting his hand through his hair. “Want to try?” 

Mark looked at cigar that was offered to him, and than his sparkly gaze darted between Jackson and the small rolled stuff he had in his muscly arm. Seconds later he took it slowly, between his index and thumb placing a filter on his cherry plump lips making a small part in them so he could take some smoke. Sucking on the filter, a weird and so strong smell filled his mouth and went down his lungs as he coughed handing the small rolled stuff to Jackson and hitting his chest a little. “It’s strong…” 

“It has to be, you never smoked before.” Jackson chuckled a little pulling the smoke through the filtration material of the cigar and once again exhaling the same smoke into the thin air. Mark felt his ears burning, it was embarrassing how he couldn’t take a little smoke without coughing, and the fact Jackson knew he never smoked was enough embarrassing. He shook his head gently and turned it aside when the older male once again spoke, “How old are you?” 

“Nineteen.” He almost whispered but his voice was just enough loud for Jackson to hear before he continued, “We are same age.” 

“Guess we are.” He smiled weakly as he kept looking at the smoke that escaped past Jackson’s lips. The older male giggled a little, and Mark looked down as he noticed Jackson probably figured out that je was staring at to him strange rolled stuff he never ever tried before. Embarrassment overtook him again as he hid his hands in his hoodie pocket and rested his head against the wall. “I should go…”

“Look, you don’t have to be embarrassed all over cause you can’t smoke. First time I started I nearly coughed my life out.” He joked and patted Mark on the back who giggled softly at the sentence and looked at Jackson who was now smiling softly at him, seemingly encouraging him as he asked, “Want to try again?”

“Yes.” Mark replied without thinking when the older male nodded his head and sucked the smoke out of cigarette and than turned himself towards the a little younger boy who looked at him confusingly. “Don’t freak out now, just part your lips and vacuum the smoke I exhale.” 

Both of them titled their heads aside and Jackson placed his hand on Mark’s cheek for support and leaned in until the space between them was at bare minimum but their lips weren’t touching. The smaller boy felt his heart pick a pace and his breath hitched, but he relaxed as the warning in the back of his head alarmed. His lips vacuumed the smoke Jackson exhaled, into his small wet cavern and this time it wasn’t so strong it was rather sweet with the clue of peppermint in it. He was consumed that he almost leaned forward but instead Jackson pulled back cause he ran out of the smoke. Soon enough later replied the steps over and over again and each time it tasted sweeter and sweeter for Mark that kept on staring deeply into another’s eyes while another was looking at his cherry plump lips. And that went straight on for next couple of minutes before Jackson escorted Mark home in rather pleasurable atmosphere and getting to know smaller boy a bit better.

It’s already been 15 days since Mark officially started hanging out with six friends of BamBam, especially Jackson. The slightly older male asked his cousin for his number which BamBam gladly gave with no hesitation what’s so ever and Mark actually didn’t mind when his phone rang that evening with ‘good night cutie’ message from another. He softly smiled while laying in the futon placed in BamBam’s room just for him. His smile was yet so honest that evening that he thought maybe this summer would be different when he replied with the same good night as latter. Couple of next days, the older male and him would hang out at usual place, smoking or just buying am ice cream and watching the movie in cinema. And Mark must admit he really like the spent time with Jackson. Each time his heart would pick up a pace when Jackson smiles, each time his breath would hitch when Jackson tosses his arm over his shoulder in a friendly manner and pull him so close to his chest. He was cool yet funny and silly that Mark really adored the paradox .

“So Jackson and you…” BamBam said as he inhaled the strong smoke of the cigar in between his fingers, his hair falling over his forehead as he wore one large grey shirt and some checked pajama pants. 

Mark who was sitting on the window frame, lighting a cigarette and inhaling one deep smoke looked at the cousin confusingly who had his legs crossed one over another on the chair next to bed. The boy’s bangs fell over his forehead as the sparkly eyes peeked under them with a slight part in between his lips. Holding a rolled stuff in his hand between thumb and index he leaned back on the window frame and looked back at the night sky covered with stars before speaking, “What’s with us?” 

“Are you two… like together?” BamBam asked teasingly, his smile even visible in the dark room filled with the strong bitter sweet smell of tobacco. It was like the small layer of fog was formed in the room and slowly was escaping through the window towards the sky as Mark thought it too was searching for his desires as he smiled a little. He than glanced at the other male in the room before shaking his head softly.

“Nah, we’re just friends.” 

“Don’t throw that bullshit on me. I saw how you look at him!” BamBam said in hyper voice raising one eyebrow before exhaling a puff of smoke into the room’s space and lofting his self up to throw the remaining of the cigarette out of the window.

“Why does it matter cause he does not see me the same, no one ever does.” Mark said in a plain voice resting his head against the wooden frame and inhaling two long smokes of the cigar in his hand and exhaling it outside of the room. Almost whole package was now empty as the remainings of the cigars were laying comfortably on the ground under the window.

“Stop shitting. Why wouldn’t he see you the same way? How can you make that assumption?” The younger male threw himself on the bed and pulled the covers over him while Mark was finishing his cigar comfortably and slowly.

Mark didn’t reply, he was used on being friendly with anyone who would offer a friendship to him. But there also were a times where he mistook a friendship with something else and that were the times he burned himself drastically. All that everyone wanted to be is his friends nothing more nothing less and that’s the believing Mark convinced himself in. It was always like this, hanging out with someone, becoming really good and close, Mark starting to have a feelings until they are shattered to pieces. But none of that made him lose hope, maybe there was a little hope for everything even for him to find someone. But, most of the times he tended to be neutral.

“There is party in few days. Yugy celebrates his 18th b-day you are invited too. And, I am not taking no as an answer.” BamBam stated rolling on his bed and laying on the side and closing his eyes to sleep. 

Mark giggled as he threw the rest of the cigarette out of the window and opened it fully so the room could get some air before he snuggled into his futon and picking up his phone to see one new message. He smiled when he saw Jackson written over the screen and small message as ‘good night’ written under it. Maybe Mark didn’t put his hopes high after all.

The music was so loud that it made his heart bump faster and his breath shortened as if his current condition was not enough for him to handle. He felt beating in his ears and his lungs and through every fiber of his body as he leaned on the wall in the hallway. He wasn’t ready to go inside the room where purple light crossed paths with pink and yellow and all the other colors. But also he wasn’t ready to go among the people and pretend as if everything was alright even when it wasn’t so he breathed as he leaned on the wall trying to catch fresh air but failing every and each time as the smell of cigars filled his respiratory system and he would dry cough each time even though he was used on the smell already thanks to Jackson.

He went to the small window on one side and slowly opened it as the fresh air hit his face and caressed it gently and as Mark closed his eyes just to let himself enjoy the moment and inhale deeply to fill his lungs with oxygen he sought after which he’ll have to go back to party. He once again inhaled deeply wearing see through shirt and some sleeveless black top under it that exposed his biceps. Black thight jeans suiting him just perfectly and showing the perfect legs he had. Of course BamBam would made him wear something like this, and he couldn’t have failed to notice the stares his parents gave him before he exited the house with BamBam. He sure will have to do some explaining later to them but he pushed that thought behind as he tried to make this night as normal as possible. He’ll go dance a little take some non-alcoholic drink and go home as it always has been case.

He closed the window after he looked up to the sky and smiled softly at the moon and the start surrounding it. Making his way back to the loud room after his breath seemed to stabilize and there he was standing on the colorful floor looking at the other people. His anxiety got once again best of him as he shivered down his spine and made his way to the corner of the room where his table was. He sat on the couch alone, looking around and trying to find anyone familiar but from how crowded place was he took notice of no one. Instead of searching he tried closing his eyes and relax himself of his anxiety and taking the sip of his coke. Opening his eyes he stared at one spot on the table which actually was box of cigar which he soon took and popped one rolled stuff out to light it up. Taking it between his index and thumb as he was used to do it and sucked on the filter, inhaling the strong smell of what seemed to be BamBam’s supplies. Each inhale made him a bit worse, and feel like he was rather suffocating. But, he kept on inhaling until he reached the end and turned of the cigar.

“You ain’t having fun?” The low raspy voice said as he sat next to him and tossed his arm over younger’s shoulder as he always would since they met. Mark getting goosebumps down his spine as his breath hitched, slowly turning his head aside and to meet dark brown puppy eyes of Jackson. His hair brushed perfectly, hoodie he wore suited him well as well as ripped light grey jeans he had. 

“Not really, I’m not type to party.” Mark admitted as he shrugged with his shoulders and leaned on the leaner resisting the urge to lay his head down on Jackson’s shoulder cause latter may get it wrongly. Cause they always mistook his actions or even if they didn’t they wouldn’t feel the same way so he just learned to control himself with the sudden actions. Besides it’s been almost a month since he came here, there weren’t enough tike for them to get to that point of maybe liking each other yet Mark held sympathies for the latter. He really adored the silliness of the latter but he tried not to pass the border.

“It makes two of us than. Want to escape?” Jackson smiled goofily as he leaned to whisper into Mark’s ear huskily but with a slight clue of silliness. Well it was required for them to either yell of whisper in each others ears fighting the loud music in the club. Mark nodded with no hesitation as he felt like his chest are gonna explode really quickly. They lifted from the seat and Mark followed Jackson out of the club, looking over not to loose Jackson in the crowd and once they were out Mark felt relaxation.

His chest felt a lot better and his breath stabilized once again as he exhaled and leaned against the wall before he spoke, “Thank you…” 

“For what? We both hated being in there. By the way you look… wow.” Jackson took a moment to take a step back and observe Mark from head to toes, and raise his eyebrows which made Mark feel like master piece in museum which was observed by a lot of people. The grimace Jackson made with gis face and position he made with his arms like he was measuring the view made Mark giggle a bit loudly, saying ‘thank you’ which slipped past his lips really like it was covered with butter.

Jackson laughed as well, getting his hand through his tousled brown hair and offering Mark to take a walk with him around which the bog gladly accepted even though he didn’t what kind of talk he and Jackson could have as the each time he got out with him. But the older male would always make it look easy and do the talk for Mark who liked to listen to him. Same went for this time as Jackson kept on throwing questions at Mark and speak about his life experience, those making the younger boy laugh sweetly and forgetting about the dull pain he felt in his chest and the tightening feeling. He never felt this much joy while talking with someone and he loved it less to say. He has never been this friendly with anyone and he low key was happy because of that.

“Wait you work at book shop?” The boy that was giggling all the way, giggled once again and raised his eyebrows at the fact. He adored this boy even more and more cause each fact fascinated him. Yeah he loved books, and he loved reading but he would have never guessed someone like Jackson works as book shop, cause club or some fashion boutique would suit him better, maybe even the model job could work. 

“Yeah, my dad is owning it and made me work there cause he thought I need some education. And I must admit I really got to love books and that store. It’s like they are my escape place.” Jackson said softly and looked at Mark whose eyes were glistening as he listened to the latter and small smile found its way to boy’s lips who felt really comfortable by know as he spoke, “I love books too, but my escape place is open night sky.”

“I know.” Jackson said almost immediately with huge grin, and boy’s heart skipping up a beat as he stared in confusion at the latter and with slight part between his lips. He sure felt shivers down his spine before Jackson continued, “I noticed you look a lot at the sky.” 

After that sentence it was like Mark froze in place gently looking at Jackson until his eyes slightly went wide. He was surprised someone noticed how much he was looking at the sky and how much he adored it. How much he was seeking is ideals and dreams and how his hope was depending on it. He wanted to say something, to reply somehow but words weren’t needed for this situation, or were they? He opened his mouth to say something but soon was interrupted by Jackson who rubbed the nape of his neck with small grin, “Do you maybe want to visit the shop?” 

And that’s when Mark felt discomfort again, in that certain moment it sounded like the other male wanted just to show off before he gets to the topic about himself again. And yet Mark felt stupid for thinking that his staring at the sky wasn’t that obvious when it was. He shook his thoughts away and slowly nodded his head. Once again did push facts about himself back and let the other lead as always. He slowly followed latter down the street who seemed happy like a child that he’ll show shop he liked so much to Mark, and for smaller boy it was enough that other was happy.  
The shop was rather small but cute when Mark entered and smell of the books was first thing that consumed him. Its interior was made of the wood like a small cottage and shelves were made of the wood as well with sections of the books. The deem light of yellow lamps hanged on the wall provided the atmosphere of the wood cottage at night and when Mark thought it couldn’t get more realistic there was small fake fireplace in the corner behind the register counter that was shining with fake flames and the boy was stunned truly.

He approached the first shelf and traced his fingers along the spines of the books and looking at the old covers of the books made from some kind of textile and he could tell they were old. He snuggled between two shelves than looking around, down and up and pulling books with interesting title out to look through it and than put it back in place as Jackson timidly followed behind him until he asked, “Want to see my favorite place in here?”

The boy nodded his head slowly, his body moving slightly and going after the male that got to the stairs inside the shop and started climbing up. Confused male blindly followed until they reached second floor of the store where books’ shelves were placed against the wall and in the middle of the room there was small carpet and few book scattered over it as if they were read earlier today, above their head there was a small round window that showed the starry sky. Mark almost lost himself staring at the stars but he composes himself and looked at Jackson who sat on the floor taking few books in his hands and than glancing up at the boy.

Mark slowly went down, sitting on his heels against the carpet and taking the book “Little Prince” to his hands as he traced his fingers against the blue covers of the book. This was one of the books he read, written so childish but showing the real perspective of the world. His favorite character was the Rose. A coquettish flower who has trouble expressing her love for the little prince and consequently drives him away. Simultaneously vain and naïve, she informs the little prince of her love for him too late to persuade him to stay home and not to travel. And Mark could only relate to her as he too was naïve and wasn’t voicing his emotions out cause he burned too many times and maybe his character sometimes drove someone away but he wasn’t sure but he wouldn’t be surprised if he did. 

“You read that?” Jackson asked softly and Mark nodded his head slowly and as if Jackson read his mind he spoke, “I read it today. Thrice actually. Pretty awesome book.” 

“Yeah… tells a lot.” Mark said softly getting through the book that was filled with awesome drawings and illustrations of the planets and characters which he really liked as he sat down just next to Jackson taking off his shoes cause they were uncomfortable.

That’s when the talk about book began and both Mark and Jackson were feeling comfortable with voicing their thoughts about the book out and giving opinion on each chapter of the book. Weather the king was the owner of all the stars in the universe or he just convinced himself that he is cause his selfishness to rule with the rest of the universe blinded him. Than weather the businessman was rich for owning 5 million stars and was that true treasure or not, weather geographer was right to be more interested in long distanced planets but his. Was he right to accuse the Little Prince of lying about the rose he has on his own earth. Was lighter wasting his time lighting the lamp each minute and turning it off minute after that. Were everyone that blind for their own treasure but were looking for more unlike the prince who was satisfied with three volcanos he had and the rose on his small planet.

They debated weather the stars have the same meaning to everyone and to be honest Mark loved that topic. He knew king was looking at the starts as the lands he is ruling upon, businessman was the one who thought of it as money and geographer as it was unknown land he needed to discover even though he didn’t know anything about his own planet.

“…You, only you, will have stars that can laugh! And when your sorrow is comforted (time soothes all sorrows) you will be content that you have known me...” Jackson read from the book, quote he marked the afternoon he read the book thrice and the quotes he loved were highlighted with green marker. His voice soft and facial expression tender as he lifted his tired gaze to meet Mark’s who was smiling laying next to the sitting male on the carpet and played with the book called “Alchemist” before pushing himself up against the carpet and looking in the book where Jackson marked the quote. Smiling he softly said, “I want to own laughing stars!”

“You'll feel like laughing with me. And you'll open your window sometimes just for the fun of it...And your friends will be amazed to see you laughing while you're looking up at the sky. Then you'll tell them, ‘Yes, it's the stars; they always make me laugh!’ And they'll think you're crazy. It'll be a nasty trick I played on you...” Jackson kept on reading in soft, honey-like voice and Mark loved how it sounded cause each sentence made his heart swell and he felt a really pleasurable warmth in his stomach as if he found he second serenity place with a person that his friend at least and he was actually satisfied with that fact.

He was leaning over Jackson’s shoulder so he can read what it was written in the book and what Jackson was about to read next cause this was the part Mark really adored. Glancing above his head the moonlight through the small window and stars seemed to shine brighter than they were before and that the boy smile so widely as if he could hear them laughing when he could actually hear Jackson’s high pinched laugh he was known for.

“And it'll be as if I had given you, instead of stars, a lot of tiny bells that know how to laugh...” Jackson giggled as he glanced over hi shoulder at Mark who was looking at the window above them and than down at the older male who smiled softly before rumbling around the book until he found what he was looking for and started reading again.

“ You're beautiful, but you're empty...One couldn't die for you. Of course, an ordinary passerby would think my rose looked just like you…” Jackson stopped reading there and looked over his shoulder that was looking at him really carefully with slightly parted lips and confusion graced over his face, pin pointed with a slight frown between his eyebrows. He tried to compose himself but his heart was swelling so much by Jackson’s soft stare and small smile.

“… But my rose, all on her own, is more important than all of you together, since she's the one I've watered. Since she's the one I put under glass, since she's the one I sheltered behind the screen. Since she's the one for whom I killed the caterpillars (except the two or three butterflies). Since she's the one I listened to when she complained, or when she boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing at all. Since she's my rose.” 

Jackson said in soft voice as he seemed to learn those line and could easily quote them. The boy that was looking at him, shivered down his spine as his heart picked up the pace. He felt like the last part of the quote Jackson said was addressed to him. It seemed both possible and impossible, cause there was no mistake Jackson was staring at him tenderly as the quote was said or it was the bitter sweet taste of subjectivity Mark produced, wanting to satisfy his own feelings and needs with what has been faced. His Pandora box of feelings was cracked open as he decided to enjoy the time that was given to him and let it to lead where it leads.

“But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world.” Mark said in soft voice as he could swear he saw the sparkle in Jackson’s eyes quiver in such beautiful act that made Mark swallow hard.

“’Of course, I love you,' the flower said to him. 'If you were not aware of it, it was my fault.’” Jackson said in a soft voice, sentence seemingly seeped with emotion that got to Mark’s weak heart. As if, Jackson just said Mark didn’t mistake his actions and intentions all along and that the boy shouldn’t be afraid of what was to happen or if what was about to happen depended only on him and his wishes and on that thought he blushed madly realizing Jackson has been so close to his face all of this time. His breath hitched and heart picked up the pace when he closed his eyes softly and let the rest happen if it was about to happen.

He felt warmth first on his cheek and than on his lips and it all felt like a dream Mark would usually dream of. Like day dreaming he usually prefer and like the scenes from the books he read. The feeling was so overwhelming that boy’s bottom lip quivered slightly that indicated Jackson to press his lips more firmly against boy’s while his thumb brushed over the apple of Mark’s cheek softly. Mark made sure to title his head aside for a better angle rather than their noses fighting for dominance.

Jackson pulled back after what seemed eternity for Mark. His puppy eyes looking at the boy who felt his face burning and his heart beating out of his chest as this sure wasn’t expected. The feeling was completely different of what Mark thought it would feel. It was like ten times better when his stomach did a flip.

“When someone blushes, doesn't that mean 'yes'?” the older male chuckled softly, the chuckle was barely heard but the puff of air Jackson exhaled was felt on Mark’s lips who now was encouraged to take an action he never dared to take. His hand was on Jackson’s nape when he pulled him in a long lasting kiss and felt peppermint he sought for so long on his tongue and not long after that Jackson led him gently down on the carpet in the way only babies would have been treated as he hovered over Mark’s small stature.

With an unsure bite on the bottom lip Mark broke the kiss and looked at Jackson’s puppy eyes that were so gentle and filled with tendency the boy never met before. The tears gathered in his eyes as he squinted them and let the tears slide down at the carpet brushing the wetness with his wrists and see through shirt. Jackson furrowed his eyebrows and sat up on his heels offering Mark a hand so he could straighten himself on the carpet which he did rubbing his eyes.

“Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?” Jackson asked softly patting Mark’s back who only shook his head and lifted it to look at the older male with soft gaze that could melt glacier. He was overwhelmed with emotions, as well as with the pain that spread in his chest and the lump he had had in a throat made him cough violently.

His small hand was placed on his mouth as he tried to cough but as he coughed metallic-like taste appeared in his mouth and went straight on his small palm. Once he looked at his palm it was bloody, covered with salvia seeped with red strands of blood that got him worried and panicked as well as the male next to him who immediately called ambulance not wasting any minute after Mark screamed.

The room was empty as always, the lonely feeling boy was getting each time nurses would exit the same room would consume him and he would feel like crying. The monitor beside his head was beeping continuously and his hands hurt from the way they were poked with a needle, the cannula they placed in his nose was not making it any easy. Clock was ticking making him anxious for past ten days and if lungs failure wasn’t enough there was pain in his heart as well as he remembered the first time he woke up in the same room. He was dressed in hospital gown and attached to machines with cannula supplying him with the oxygen he needed. Was surrounded with boys who were worried until his parents came to the room pissed and threw everyone out. Soon enough scolding him for smoking, for hanging out with those boys, admonishing the night he went to party and the way he was dressed saying this was the punishment from the God for his behavior and the fact it accidentally slipped to the nurse that Mark’s boyfriend was there to visit him didn’t help at all.

After that visit, Mark cried his soul out. He cried and cried and cried until there were no tears left for him to spill on the bright white pillow as he was covered with blanket. His breath than would have hitched and shortened to the point monitor would beat loudly and than nurses would appear giving him tranquilizers to calm down but lone tears would always slide down his cheek before he would have been put to sleep.  
Boys visited him couple of times and Jackson came twice. First time he was there to soothe Mark down and the second time he came with a fact that the younger boy needs lung transplant and that he is going to find someone to donate the lungs. After that he hasn’t been coming at all and Mark was getting confused, was it because of lack oxygen to his brain or was situation that confusing to him. Did Jackson give up on him? He sure doesn’t need nuisance like Mark in his life at all. Who would’ve wanted to? 

He smiled sadly as he turned on his side and started quietly crying and sobbing. It wasn’t an explosion of emotions, just simple loneliness he felt after he heard from BamBam that his parents went back home without him and that they were talking with his aunt to take him in. It was a sting that was constantly caused pain in Mark’s heart that they were so quick to give up on him.

The night was outside and all Mark wanted was to look out of the window to the stars that always calmed him down. He tossed his legs over the edge of the bed, shivering as he felt cold floor under his feet and each step was unsure as he pulled machine that provided him an oxygen with him to the window. Tears were still painting his cheeks as he looked out of the window and saw no stars. There were dark black clouds covering the night sky, not one star was visible on the night sky as he teared up even more, hiccupping as he threw his head down just to clear the tears with his hand as his bangs fell across his forehead. 

He walked back to his bed, sitting softly on the edge as the clocked ticked 10 pm. He brushed tears with tissues that were on night stand as five more empty beds were in the room which made it even more lonely. He hiccupped once more before laying in the bed and resting his head against the headboard of the bed. But the sudden creak of the door made him look at that direction and once again his heart picked up a pace when he saw Jackson in big hoodie and black jeans on the door looking down at him and looking like mess. Mark couldn’t suppress the feeling that consumed him as he once again teared up speaking in shaky voice, “Jacky… they didn’t come…” 

Jackson quickly closed the door and approached the bed and sat on the edge to hug Mark tightly as another broke into charade of sobs and silent screams. Jackson rubbed soothing circles into Mark’s back and kissed the crown of his head every once in a while until Mark’s sobs were calmed down. “Don’t worry… they are just shocked. I am sure after all of this is over they’ll figure out they have mistaken.”

“Are you sure?” Mark rested his head against Jackson’s chest and his hands were fisting the soft fabric of Jackson’s hoodie. His eyes tired and puffy as he looked up to the older softly who only nodded and kissed boy’s forehead. Boy hugged the older male around the torso and nuzzled his nose against latter’s chest. Feeling serenity in his arms, and warmth in his chest and stomach. Satisfied with the fact that Jackson didn’t actually abandon him that he didn’t give up on him. He loved the hug he got from the older seconds later before he pulled back to look at Mark softly and peck his lips. “Wait here, I have something for you.”

“Huh?” Mark said, but before he got to say anything Jackson wasn’t in the room anymore and the boy was left drowning in his own confusion as he titled his head aside and made a slight part between his lips. Rubbing his eye with one hand and leaning against the head board again.

“I can show you the world…Shining, shimmering, splendid…” He heard a silly voice from the door and really familiar lyrics he loved as a kid and even know he would have a habit of re-watching Aladdin from time to time. He actually was stunned when Jackson came in with a teddy bear about hand size singing. Mark raised an eyebrow in surprise as he watched the latter male approach him slowly and continuing.

“Tell me, princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?” He sang as he sat on the edge of the bed and handed Mark a teddy bear he got which made the boy smile brightly from ear to ear as he gazed aside to look at Jackson. The male leaning against the head board too and taking the book he hid behind his back in front of him. “The Little Prince” written over the covers which immediately reminded Mark of the night they two kissed for the first time. His heart swelled and eyes softened as he took a book to his hands.

“I can open your eyes, take you wonder by wonder. Over, sideways and under on a magic carpet ride.” Jackson sang into Mark’s ear before he placed a kiss on his soft cheek. The boy still stunned looked at Jackson with soft eyes and spoke in a gentle voice, “You are insane…” 

“If you love a flower that lives on a star, it is sweet to look at the sky at night. All the stars are a-bloom with flowers...” Jackson said as he interlocked his fingers with Mark’s and spoke again. “I didn’t think you would get quotes were said to you back than.”

“I didn’t think they were. But your eyes told me they are.” Mark said softly looking at their interlocked fingers and smiling as if everything turned around for hundred and eighty degrees which actually did.

“You seemed… how do I put it… isolated?” Jackson said as he looked straight into Mark’s eyes and Mark looked back with the same amount of softness in them.

“And now?” Mark asked raising his eyebrow a little and leaning his chin on Jackson’s shoulder.

“Now… you are my unique rose.” He replied pecking Mark’s lips after he pulled them both to lay on the bed face to face. Mark hugged teddy bear to his chest happily while book rested on the night stand next to the bed. His bangs fell across his face beautifully as the smile graced his features while looking at Jackson. He shyly snuggled closer to the older male’s chest and as if he wasn’t sure he kissed his clothed chest. The action itself spoke loudly when Jackson hugged him around the waist and as they both rested their heads on the pillow.

“I found you a donor, soon you’ll be like new…” Jackson whispered softly, brushing his thumb over the apple of Mark’s cheek over the cannula and the boy immediately put his smile down before speaking.

“Do you really think everything will be okay after surgery?” 

“I am sure of it. Like 100% sure. Don’t beat your head over it. Okay?” Jackson said in soothing voice as Mark’s hand rested flat on Jackson’s cheek caressing it softly and pulling him in a short kiss which was messy cause of the cannula inside Mark’s nostrils and over his face but none of them minded.

“I…” Mark opened his mouth to speak but words seemed not needed at all but what he wanted to say actually was important. So he did it as he was taking off the plaster. “I love you Little Prince…” 

Jackson widened his eyes, not really expecting this kind of confession and certainly not from the person that rarely voiced their emotions aloud as he could notice in this short amount of time and as well as from BamBam’s stories. He smiled softly after being stunned, the fear that graced smeller’s features made him answer quickly.

“I love you too Rose…”


	2. Bohemian Jasmine

“Rough day?” 

The soft voice of the boy who just approached him broke him out of the trans. The music in the club was so loud that made his adrenaline kick in with each glass of alcohol he shoved down his throat. The strong taste of tequila seeping through his breath as he exhaled deeply. The lime from the glass giving the bitter taste a bit of sweetness and easiness to swallow. The taste staying on his tongue until another sip of the same drink went down the same route. 

Neon purple lights were running across the room like they were chasing each other. Blue, green, yellow lights doing the same and making what seemed like complete charade of good time and relaxation. When actually, it all was about broken and tired souls wanting to get their mind off something that broke them. Another glass was slid to him by bartender and music seemed to go louder and louder as if the charade of good time would make a strong appearance. He was sick of this atmosphere, he was sick of people surrounding him, he was sick of bad choices each one of them made and now decided to make up for it by grinding against other people.

He was rich, he was the one holding golden cock in his arms yet he decided to push the bohemian side of him. That Charles Baudelaire in him was ruling with each aspect of his life, making him unsatisfied with people, with life and with social norms that were set. The revolt consuming his being was stronger than any need he felt and yet it was something that made him despite people so much. The way he talked was odd the topic he liked were unfamiliar and not understood by other people. If you asked him, IQ could go below zero to this point of the era they lived in.

“Day would be better if piñatas could be scattered throughout the town.” The male replied, strong muscles of his arms flexing when he reached for the glass that was tossed to him. White button-up rolled up to his elbows while few buttons of the shirt were undone. The sweat running down his chest as there was too many people breathing in the club for his taste.

Small chuckle was heard next to him, when fragile arm reached for the bottle of vodka behind the counter. Earning older male’s attention as he turned around with raised eyebrow to look at the boy next to him. Boy barely being 5’4 and wearing short black leather skirt that was perfectly hugging his hips and was tight around his thighs. Black ripped crop top reaching just above the waistline of the skirt under which fishnets were pulled up over the milky white skin. The wig boy wore was in colour of pink and reached to his shoulders while striking and weird pigments were scattered around his eyes.

“That’s why clubs like these exist. To relieve the stress, you know?” Boy took a sip from the bottle, squinting his face from the bitter yet strong and burning taste on his tongue and throat. Shivers appearing on his milky white skin due to electric sensation he got when vodka reached his stomach. Jackson observing a look boy had, clearly disgusted with the way he dressed and turning his head aside to sip on his drink. But from the way boy talked, the accent he had and gestures he was making while drinking made Jackson sure this was the first time boy took any alcoholic drink. Which, to be honest pushed his strings to the point he scoffed at how much social norms were affecting people. He was once again triggered wanting to burst out of his shelf but he stayed.

“Just because I am drinking, doesn’t mean you have to too.” He said trying to reason with the boy who seemed lost for a couple of moments, titling his head aside as sparkly eyes his behind the pink bangs of his wig. Smiling softly and squinting his eyes as he landed his hand on top of Jackson’s biceps, Jackson looking at the boy under his lashes as he turned around for one more drink. “Besides, what this place is offering certainly can’t relieve my stress, cause the ones like you make it.”

Jackson said nonchalantly, jerking his arm away from the boy and lifting up from his chair taking the suit jacket in his grasp. Turning around to the boy who looked at him somehow confused as the smile he once wore was pushed down. Jackson wasn’t aware of the moment he memorized boy’s features but there he had it in his mind. Soft, plush cheeks, pointy noise covered with red hue, small almond eyes and deep chocolate orbs that sparkled as the night sky full of stars. The curves under eyes was so young and the bohemian man could certainly say the boy was about 17 or 18.

“E-excuse me?” Boy stuttered in broken voice.

“You heard it. What are you, 17? Yet you dress like that and act like you act just because social norms made you to. You think it’s okay to do what other people do. And you hope to hook up with anyone who seems to have stress hung upon their backs. Don’t you feel lame sometimes? Or ashamed? The people like you disgust me.” Jackson spoke in even voice, his cold glare sharply pushing the sword through boy’s heart who seemed to have teary eyes now.

The music was turned off long time ago since due to closing time and everyone that were in the room were able to hear what the bohemian male said. Each word, each dot and question mark were soaked up by them. Chatters started filling the room, most of them were accusing ones pointed at the boy on the chair who stood on his shaky legs put in heels. “Maybe you’re right… I… I’m sorry… I am just prostitute…” 

Boy said in broken and wavery, squatting down to undo his heels and slowly pick them up with his fragile fingers and looking at the floor slowly made his way through the crowd and to the back of the club where he disappeared down one of the halls. Jackson on the other side was cold, he wasn’t even affected by the scene he just made, he picked up the glass of alcoholic drink shoving it down his throat before leaving the club.

Ten days passed since incident. Jackson was currently packing his stuff into large boxes. Wearing grey sweats and white shirt that exposed his well built arms he inhaled deeply before he plopped on the couch of his small apartment he soon needed to leave. The sun burst throughout the window and onto his face when he groaned. He was from well-off family but the way of life he chose for himself restricted him from using money. Cause it was what was ruling this world. Poverty of money was what ruined this world in first place and what he refused to consume and just make his life harder.

The part of town he was moving was far away from the center of the city, it was more like country side of the town which he was looking forward to. He liked the nature and it was the only place where his artistic senses would wake up and all five of them would join together and act like one. He could smell the sounds and see the smells, he could touch the air and feel its color and smell. It was weird to explain it to people who didn’t understand true beauty in nature cause their minds were preoccupied with electronics.

The siren he heard coming from outside of his living space signalized him that it is the time for him to place the boxes in the trunk. With a help of the driver he was quickly packed and seated on the passenger seat of the white trunk that started its engine soon enough. The wind going through his hair as the loud sirens of car passing by got on his nerves. It was ride that lasted about half of hour when he finally arrived on destination of his new home.

Getting out of the trunk he outstretched his body and groaned loudly as he felt each bone in his body to hurt. Opening his eyes he was met with neighbor hood, small house-like buildings were surrounding the small area with small park in the center. Small café noticed just across the street of the building he lived in saying “Bohemian”. The male must admit he liked the name of the store which made him want to visit it later.

After unpacking his body was plopped on the couch of his new apartment while boxes he used were discarded in the corner of the room. His muscles hurt and he felt constant tension upon his body and heart. He felt like every problem he has is beyond his possibilities to solve them. So his body was like a big wide problem dump that was refilled every day but never burned down to the ground. He felt like he needed some warm tea and breakfast he missed when he tossed black oversized hoodie over his shoulders and exited his apartment. The walk to the café was quick to say less and everything seemed to be good until he stopped his moving when the small figure of the boy exited the café.

Boy wearing baby blue hoodie that was like a pool around his thin and fragile body, the brown bangs were peeking under the hood of the blue fabric and what caught Jackson’s attention were too familiar features of the face. Plush cheeks, pointy a bit curvy nose splashed with red hue and eyes that held galaxy in them was what took his breath away. Not because of the beauty but because of the boy himself. The incident from 10 days ago popped up in his kind when his heart quickened. 

His face looking down on the floor while his hands rested in the pockets of baby blue hoodie. Cherry plump lips curled into small sad smile as he kicked the stone on the street. Lifting his head he froze on the sight of Jackson standing few steps in front. His smile transforming into a frown as the small gap was created between plush cherry lips. His pupils narrowed and as Jackson could notice, boy stiffened. “I… uhm…”

Boy stumbled over his words, his sparkly eyes looking at Jackson and lighting the spark inside him that he never felt before. And what was new it was irritating him to the point he chuckled innerly as boy quickly bowed down and pushed his head to face the floor before making his way past Jackson. He could tell tears brimmed from boy’s chocolate eyes, maybe or maybe the boy just wanted to push it back.

After that day, each day didn’t pass if Jackson didn’t see the boy exiting the same café each day. Until, he found out boy was actually working at that café when this morning actually he approached the said male to take the order. Nervously fidgeting in the place as he asked what Jackson wanted from the menu. His voice wavery and his hands trembling as he held small notepad. The bohemian male didn’t say anything when he said his order. Letting the small boy go back to the counter and get the things he needed.

Jackson couldn’t tore his eyes of the boy as he watched his each movement. Some may call it a creeper but he was actually staring at the hands that were accidentally brushing over boy’s butt and some actually took their time to squeeze the small boy’s behind. Averting his gaze from where it was on the boy and the male that now sneaked his hand around boy’s waist. 

The call seemed familiar since when Jackson turned his head over again, it was completely different boy bringing him his order. A bit more muscular and in white shirt and black jeans. It wasn’t boy he once met. His hand going through his hair as long and heavy sigh went past his lips. Part of him wanted to stay out but another was pocked with curiosity. He wondered if the other job boy had was included even out of the club he first saw him and for the main reason why he has been doing it.

Yeah he hated people, but just because he hated them didn’t mean he wanted to be like them in a way of cruelty and dumbness, blindness for other’s problems but their own. He took a sip of his coffee before asked, “Excuse me, but another waiter took my order. Will he be back?” 

“Yes sir, he took lunch minutes break. He’ll be back.” The waiter replied politely, until the loud barking of one dog was heard. Ringing out against the half empty café and scaring the waiter who jumped unexpectedly. The dark bitter substance spilling over the white t-shirt Jackson wore, soaking up the fabric and burning the surface of male’s torso skin. The pain tolerance Jackson had was high so he just groaned in annoyance lifting from his chair. Waiter seemed to notice before he turned around. “Oh my god, I am so sorry! I’ll pay the cleaning and we’ll get you new coffee on the house!”

“It’s okay. Shirt is old no need to make fuss over this.” Jackson replied greeting his teeth together, the loud scream pushed down his throat and annoyance radiating from him when he helplessly dabbed with the tissue he had in his pocket onto the already existing pool of coffee. “Where is the restroom?” 

The waiter told him, pointing at the end of the long hallway behind the bar. Telling him about employee’s restroom with actually everything they needed unlike the small restroom that was supposed to be for the guests. Jackson nodded his head, rounding the corner and entering a rather small and narrow hallway with baby blue walls and grey carpet that was ripped in some places. The male, you could say was more fan of red, yellow and black color but he didn’t mind brighter colors as well. The baby blue coloring the wall reminded him of a boy of whom thought he quickly shook of from his mind as he slowly curled his hand around the sliver shining knob before he lost his focus when the door opened and Jackson was faced with already familiar face of one of the café’s guests that were touching the boy in inappropriate way.

His hair black, slicked back with some cheap hair gel as Jackson could say. Satisfied smirk curling his lips while he buttoned the button of his black trousers and zipping them up. Jackson groaned in frustration inside his head. The male seemed so irritating when Jackson passed him without any other conclusion and took off his shirt to place it into the sink beside really big mirror. The sound of water filling the air, echoing against the blue tiles and its sound disappearing in thin air like it escaped through the tinniest holes in the wall. 

His attention was drew to the opened stall in the corner of the great restroom, mirror reflecting his gaze towards the stall when he slowly turned around to approach the small space that was opened. Peeking behind the corner the sight he has seen, he was sure will be sharply engraved into his mind for the rest of his life. 

Blood like liquid was splashed over the white tiles of the cold floor, mixed with white substance on some places. Certain fabric of the familiar jeans discarded in the corner with some money threw on the top and near the door. The familiar boy was curled on the toilet chair hugging his legs to his chest and hiding his head under the crossed resting upon his knees. Blood was coloring his milky white thighs that now were covered with hickeys and bruises too.

Quiet sobs were emitting from the boy, his being trembly and arms shaky when he uncurled himself from the fetus pose. Tears covering his flushed cheeks and light purple bruise under one eye. Noticing Jackson that stood on the door silently watching the terrifying sight beside his eyes, he curled back into previous position and peeked under his bangs at the other male. His eyes sparkling, each spark trembling in his eyes as he tried to hide his embarrassment.

The older male, sighing tossed the damp cloth into the direction of the smaller boy and slowly making his way out of the restroom. Not wanting to get involve into something that wasn’t his business at all, nor he wanted it to be. He wasn’t emotionless but he sure didn’t care for the bad choices people picked up for themselves and the same ones that ruined their life and led them to the wrong side of divided way. When he came back to his table, new coffee was already waiting with his breakfast when he sat down and got his hand through his tousled hair. Craning his neck until it cracked and the sound was obvious he sipped his coffee like everything he saw in the restroom didn’t happen.

The waiter from before approached him and apologized once more which Jackson shoved down the trash cause he couldn’t care less about the old ripped shirt he wore and threw to the small boy. Biting into his toast, his attention was brought up to the counter where two waiters spoke. One of them being already familiar boy whose legs were trembling when he picked up the notepad. His bangs messy and hoodie outstretched on places. All in all he looked like walking mess when he approached another customer and made the order, slowly gazing under the eye towards Jackson while his cheeks still were colored in red hues and eyes puffy under bangs.

His trembly hand holding onto small piece of paper when he approached the counter with wobbly legs. Jackson sipping his coffee until he saw the bottom of the cup before he placed it down and lifted his hand to pay although waiter was already behind him ready to take the money. The waiter wasn’t the boy, Jackson furrowed his eyebrows at the male in front of him before outstretching his arm and offering the money. “The waiter that served me first, is he okay?”

“Uhm… yeah just feeling a bit dizzy so he was sent home moment ago.” Waiter said in nervous tone, Jackson knowing the best when people lie. Meaning, the said waiter knew about boy’s prostitute job and what had happened in the restroom probably. He greeted his teeth together, tsking with tongue , cause if anything he hated the most, they were lies. But again who was he to question the decisions and actions other people made. Oh yeah, he was Jackson Wang.

The male thanked the waiter for the information before lifting himself from the spot and exiting the café.

Days have passed and Jackson continued to visit the café cause, first he was too lazy to make breakfast and second he was eager to meet his new neighbor hood after the hot breakfast he was going to have. Each time taking the same meal, same coffee. Sometimes a bit bitter than previous days and sometimes just like water. But he didn’t complain since a bit of caffeine was all he needed to start a good morning. Neighbor hood was unusually calm for him that got used on loud sirens of the cars and busses and also loud bangs of the guns that were heard late at nights.

This place was peaceful and he wasn’t going to lie that he started liking it. He liked the calming atmosphere in the park across the street, he liked the wind that caressed his skin I soothing way and he especially liked the smell of freshness that reminded him of childhood. The way he would brush his cheeks and nose against the freshly washed laundry his mom was hanging on the horizontally placed rope behind their house. He would rush through them and let the fresh smell of lilies and jasmine consume him and lead him to his own world. Plopping on the grass he would hear the soft voice of his mother telling him to get up or he’ll get dirty followed with a high pinched giggle.

He would than get up, and run to the bench where his granny was sitting and knitting a scarf, seeped with smell of jasmines’, her favorite flowers and than Jackson would sit beside her and close his eyes while leaning behind. Soft sound of granny humming some old and soothing song getting into his ears while wind was bringing him a fresh aroma from the nearby mountains. He would than hear his granny say, “Join your senses together, that’s the beauty of nature no one understands.” 

Jackson would listen to her stories carefully, turning himself into ear to soak up each and every information his granny had offered. And that’s how he was built up. He was built up based on what his granny expected. He was raised with the sentence “If you think you are unlucky and unhappy, remember there are less fortunate people. Help them, and you’ll experience true happiness.” 

And he wished he could follow that, but it was hard to choose who to help when in this big charade called world, he seemed the only one that needed constant help. He felt lost, he felt like the way his granny sent him on was long time lost when Jackson decided to sneak and get through the grass on the side road leading to no where. He was sure, he was disappointment cause right now he needed support, he needed someone who he can lean on and not end up on shaky ground. He needed someone who understands him, but it was hard finding the person that would be his partner.

He opened his eyes, when the bell above the door of the café dinged and his attention was brought up to the door where old lady was standing with a cane in her trembly and old hand. Floral scarf hugging her shoulders while long grey braid was resting against her old back. Jackson took a sip of his coffee as woman made her way to the waiter that was the only one there. The boy haven’t showed for 2 days or more, if he did it would be for 10 minutes and than he would again disappear. But Jackson paid no mind when he looked out of the window to the par that was enlightened with the sun and the slow swaying of the trees made his mind calm.

“Can you call Yien for me, please…” woman begged in soft voice, Jackson turning his head around on the name and wriggled his eyebrow up observing a conversation. Waiter’s face twisted and Jackson knew something was wrong. He averted his gaze from them to the window his ear still chained for conversation the other two led.

“I’m sorry Mrs. Tuan, but Mark hasn’t appeared on job today.” The waiter replied and Jackson heard the woman’s shocked gasp as she held her cane harder. Jackson lifted from his chair to approach the woman, and in gentle manners held woman’s upper back and slowly placed his hand under her forearm to support her weight. She looked at him confusingly, nodding her head gratefully once she regained her balance and turned to Jackson. “Thank you young man…”

“No problem, you should really sit. Waiter will bring you a water and something to eat.” Jackson said, looking at waiter who nodded his head and the male led woman to the chair on which she sat slowly discarding her cane on the side. Tired sigh leaving past her lips when she gripped tightly on her knees and waved with her hand once Jackson offered a breakfast. “No need for that, my dear.” 

“There is, your pulse seem low. Are you okay?” Jackson asked politely, battling with himself and knowing this was the mother or even granny of the prostitute boy. The way her soft features twisted in concerned frown, the way her fake teeth bit into the lower lip and the way she was speaking he could guess woman had no idea in what kind of business her son/grandson got. Jackson exhaled deeply and gave Mrs. Tuan a glass of water that has just arrived. She sipped before replying, “I-I am… Have you seen my Yien? He small and has brown hair and is wearing baby blue hoodie?” 

“I haven’t but I am sure he will appear soon enough.” And as he said that, the bell above door rang out against the cold walls and there was the boy hurriedly entering the café as the smell that was very familiar to Jackson washed over his face. Jasmines consumed him deeply as his heart quivered. His eyebrows raising and eyes widening at familiar smell that triggered a really sad memory of his granny he had. His gaze finding gaze of the small boy that turned to look towards their table. The same reaction was got from the boy who widened his eyes and smile he wore to the moment he saw Jackson with his mom was dropped. Quickly approaching the table and eyeing the male and Jackson as noticed got up from his seat and moved to the counter to pay the order.

As soon as money faced the counter, soft and small hand rested upon the counter. Smell of jasmine again consuming Jackson and his senses when he sighed deeply and felt pleasurable warmth building in his body. His heart tightening on the thought of his granny and the stories she would tell him beside fireplace. The fire softly cracking and its sparks falling on the carpet that was already torn in some places and the holes that were made as ants’ farm long time resting on the carpet from the sudden sparks escaping the fire. He softened his expression, rolling a light fist out of his hand resting on the counter.

“I know you hate me, but thank you… really.” The boy said in soft voice, his gaze resting to where Jackson’s hand was rolled in the fist and small smile curled his lips as Jackson could see under his lashes. Guilt consuming him, remembering words his granny said and the way she smelled and it was stupid reason to like the boy. But he loved the smell of jasmine, it made him weak and soft, vulnerable and pathetic sometimes even more angry on the world than before. Cause, because of the world we live in… we are forced to let go of people we love cause God thinks it is time for them to be with him. And what about Jackson? Was he that bad that he couldn’t find his own peace at the moment? That he couldn’t find a right path to follow? He greeted his teeth softly together and sink his teeth into his bottom lip before looking over his shoulder. “You smell on jasmine…”

Jackson uttered, while looking at the boy that slowly approached his mother as his timid steps were light and carefree at the moment. His fragile arm wrapping around old lady’s shoulders and slowly guided her out of the café and walked her over to the park where they sat on the bench. With a throbbing heart, Jackson was looking at the sight before his eyes as Yien was seated on the left side of the lady resting his small head upon lady’s shoulder.

It reminded Jackson of his granny and him when they would sit on the grass and when Jackson’s head would rest on his granny’s lap as she would cradle her old fingers through his hair soothingly and tell him a story about the life. Jackson closed his eyes and enjoyed the memory before opening them again and exiting the café. His gaze never torn from those two on the bench, when he leaned on the boom and carefully observed. Boy took out the old ripped envelope and showed it to his granny or mother he wasn’t sure with bright smile.

Jackson knee those kinds of envelopes that usually held money inside it. He sighed when he saw woman being shocked by what she saw. The male could bet that she would be even more shocked by the job her let’s say relative is doing. Inhaling deeply and exhaling he moved towards his apartment with heavy heart. World will never change.

It’s almost been a month since Jackson moved to his small but rather joyful apartment. Having his thoughts collected in between four walls and nit having anything to distract him from listing them into his brain one by one. He hadn’t been going to café anymore, as why? He didn’t really know. All he knew was the aroma he smelled that day affected him in such terrible way that he felt weak and vulnerable. And what added salt to his wound, it was like that damn jasmine attached the boy to him. He couldn’t stop thinking of the boy and the way his trembly hands held notepad for orders. 

The way he would blush when Jackson catches him staring and averting his gaze when Jackson wriggles with his eyebrow. So Jackson tended to go to afternoon shift and enjoy his coffee but than café would be rather full than in the morning. And we all know he hates people. So, he just stopped coming and tried making his own coffee at home and drink it on the balcony surrounded by flowers he planted and watered. 

He was currently laying on his back, sprawled over his bed. The night sky seen from the opened window and clock showing 2 am. His hair messy and going into every direction and his eyes having under eyes circles from how tired he was. It was the second day of the chain of the days he chose for repainting his walls. To save the money it was him who did the job and who didn’t sleep previous night. His white shirt was colored in light yellow almost sunny like color as well as his face. Getting his hand through his hair, he got up from the squishy mattress and headed for the kitchen to make himself some coffee. Putting the water to the machine he searched for the small package of the coffee that couldn’t be find anywhere. He looked upper cabinets and lower ones as well also a drawers but there was no coffee. He groaned, rolling his eyes so he could see China his home country as he laughed a little on that thought. 

Taking a jacket that was resting on the chair he decided it was a good idea to go to the store that was working 24/7 in a case someone needed something, someone like him. When he exited the building, streets were empty. The wind was only thing that was heard through the streets and tousled his already messy hair as he walked. Hands in pockets, down the street and when he entered the store it was empty as expected. If not for the cashier and the person because of whom his heart once again tightened. It was really stupid how the smell of jasmine could turn people for hundred and eighty degrees in a second but Jackson couldn’t fight his nature. Boy was dressed in same baby blue hoodie with ripped jeans while he carried 2 bags of what seemed to be groceries and food. One small bag with pharmacy cross over it, indicated that there also were some medicines either boy or old lady needed.

Lifting his head, boy blushed to see who was in front of him with hands in his pockets and looking like complete mess he couldn’t care less about. His eyes meeting the floor and his pace quickening when he passed Jackson, heavy bags making him walk like a penguin and with loud sigh Jackson was right behind him taking one of the bags into his grasp. Boy looking at him confusingly, titling his head aside and his mouth agape as he spoke in the voice just above the whisper, “What are you doing? Give it back.”

“Relax I’m not going to rob you, I want to help.” Jackson replied nonchalantly getting his hand through his hair. The warm feeling consuming his body when the small part of boy’s cherry plump lips quivered and threatened to turn into small smile if not for the frown that engraved on his small face. “What is in for you? To mock me?”

“If I wanted I would have done it 20 days ago. But no, I don’t want to mock you.” Jackson replied rolling his eyes and sighing for god knows what reason when other boy tried to take the bag back while his fingers turned into light shade of purple from how heavy the bags were for his small being. “You sure? Cause I am pretty sure you said people like me disgust you.”

“Okay, sorry. I was wrong, does this work?” Jackson said irritated taking the bag back to his own grasp. Boy taken a back slowly widened his eyes. Dangerous red hue appeared on his cheeks and nose and the next moment his face was facing the ground. Not saying anything or complaining when Jackson took both bags to his hands and averted his gaze away from the boy and he sure felt his ears burning. He apologized and it felt weird coming from his mouth after such a long time he used to step on people and not help him. Maybe this was way to make up for the lost.

He followed the boy, neither of them speaking and walking in silence while wind played its harmony and caressed their exposed skin as Yien shivered from the head to toes and Jackson noticed that as he walked behind. Sighing deeply he put the bags down and took of his Jacket leaving him in sweater like shirt and as boy looked at him in confusion. “W-What are you doing…?”

Jackson didn’t say anything, approaching the boy and tossing his old olive Jacket over boy’s shoulders who stepped back a little but that didn’t stop Jackson to take step forward and pin the button of the jacket just above boy’s chin who gazed down with blush spreading all over his cheeks and seeing there was no point in rejecting, he accepted. Pulling his fragile hands through the sleeves of the old Jacket and squished the fabric with his small sweater paw as jacket reached to just above his knees. Still looking down he didn’t noticed Jackson was already by the bags and was lifting them up before he spoke. “You going or not?” 

“Y-Yes…” 

They walked good 10 minutes, the same silence followed them but glances they both made were as if they spoke to one another. Jackson would look under his eye and Mark would transparently turn his head aside to look at Jackson before averting his gaze on the side. It was weird how something could quickly crack between them to get them where they are now. Taking secret glances at each other and not speaking but somehow communicating. But there were still questions threw in the space between them confused both Mark and Jackson. It were questions Jackson needed to answer but he couldn’t and question he had for Mark was just simple why? 

They stood in front of the nearly old house, its façade falling apart and the windows on the second floor were shattered into pieces. Some of the pieces stayed in between wooden frames. The moist seemed to consume the house and the way door creaked when the boy pushed them slightly made his heart ache a little which was unconscious reaction of his body. It was almost 3 am when he looked at the clock and slowly handed boy two bags. His eyes staring at the deepest of Mark’s when he spoke gently, “ I know you may have a lots of questions…” 

“W-We… ugh… we can talk?” Boy stuttered cutely, lifting the bags and looking under his bags to gaze out to Jackson who had his hands in the pockets of his sweats while serious face was over his facial features. Jackson exhaled puff of air, getting his hand through his hair before nodding his head and following the boy who slowly entered the house. Both of them going down the long hallway that was colored in light shade of brown with pictures all over the wall. Smell of vegetable soup filling the air while they walked in the dark. 

Jackson’s hand grazing over the switch in the hallway but lights didn’t seem to react to that as if there was no power in the house. Looking around everything was in dark so his conclusion actually was that there was no power in whole house. Stairs for the second floor were blocked with large book case and the moist surrounding the house made shivers down Jackson’s spine who entered rather small living room with couch and the sofa with wooden table in between them. There were blanket and pillow on the couch messily placed over the leaner and arm rest with small candle enlightening the room. The reddish flame casting yellow shadow upon each object in the room when boy placed bags on the table and sat on the couch, folding his hands in his lap. “I’m sorry, we never actually have guests…” 

Jackson nodded his head slowly, plopping on the sofa softly and leaning his elbows on his knees. Looking at the boy whose features were enlightened by the flame that also danced in his eyes with each strand of wind that strayed its way to the flame. His eyes a bit glossy and lips as well while his white and vampire like fangs bit into his lip. Jackson felt content about boy being nervous and he understood. Once you get called out in front of the crowd, second time you get caught after doing not so virtuous job and third time you actually get apologize. Yeah it was all because of that stupid jasmine Jackson hated yet loved so much. He hated that he loved it that much to make him weak and willing. He bit into his lip before he started, “I know it’s not my business… but why you chose this job?”

Boy seemed to be taken back, but not so surprised. He was more surprised at straight-forwardness of the latter male. Jackson could see Mark was debating with himself whether to speak or not, getting fidgety with each second that passed and seeing there was actually no help but tension between them Jackson was about to continue but shortly was cut off. “Why are you helping me…?”   
“Cause you smell on jasmine…” Jackson replied nonchalantly, cause it was an easy question with great meaning to him. His eyes softened while he locked his stare with the glossy stare of smaller boy on whose face blush threatened to creep as well as tear in the corner of his eye. 

“Y-You… humiliated me first… then you were nice to me in restroom and than to my granny. And you say it’s because I smell on jasmine?” Boy asked confusingly and irritated a little. Small bit of anger seeped through his voice as he tightened a grasp he had on one of his hands.

“You actually remind me of person I cherished the most, that’s why I was nice and I am sorry for back than…” The male spoke in low husky voice, getting his hand through his tousled hair which he seemed to do a lot while being a bit nervous or standing on a shaky ground. Old habits getting to him as he chewed on his bottom lip for a split second. His mind signalizing him he wasn’t in a rational state of mind and that he was acting rather reckless with all fidgety thing. He looked at the boy who seemed both hurt and relieved as the flame danced on his milky and smooth face.

“I lost my job… because of you…” the boy blinked twice and tears were already leaving his eyes and colored his cheeks that shined under the light casted upon them. Quickly pulling the sleeves of olive green jacket and cleaning his eyes before he continued, “My manager thought I was bothering you… That I was forcing myself on customer that didn’t want my service…” he sniffed, cleaning his eyes once more and with a tissue he took cleaning his runny nose, “H-he didn’t believe me when I told him it wasn’t my fault…”

“Why are you even doing this job? Wasn’t there any other job you could’ve picked? I am really sorry you lost your job but don’t you think that it was sign for you to chose something better to live from?” the male asked almost immediately but his heart throbbed with each tear boy let slid down his cheeks.

“No, I tried finding any other but they won’t pay full salary to high school student…” The boy whispered between the quiet sobs averting his gaze from Jackson and onto the other side of the room looking at random spot in the dark.

“I knew you were kid… “ Jackson irritately scoffed to himself. Widening his eyes a bit, a lot of things rushed through his mind going from his childhood and granny’s words to the point of life where he dropped and went wrong way from where he was destined. It was the world who was smart enough to use the prettiness of the smaller boy for their own benefit, probably making the kid feel low in the category of self esteem and confidence. He never asked, but what he was feeling towards the other boy back than, it may be how boy felt about himself just needed someone to confirm it. Which, dumb Jackson did. Cursing under his breath he spoke gently, “Can you stop being prostitute?”

“Why? No!” He whisper yelled, probably cause of sleeping woman in next room looking at Jackson with wide eyes. “If I stop than… than we won’t survive… Beside why would I??”

“Cause I want you to stop. You are a kid, right now school is your priority and health. You are not made for the job of prostitute.” Jackson reasoned in soft and soothing voice trying to sound as calm as possible but his nerve was tickled. He was right, the bright future was in front of the boy, he could be anything he wish to be, do anything he wish to do. But the life he lived right now was wrong path, as the day Jackson humiliated the boy was wrong path.

“You seem not to understand at all…” the boy spoke in a soft whisper shaking his had furiously, messing his already messed bangs until Jackson stopped him by taking one of his hands into his own and made Mare forcefully look at him.

“I do understand, I know you need money so I am willing to give it to you only if you stop doing what you’re doing.” The male said in serious voice making Mark wide his eyes ever more if that was possible, his lips agape and stare at Jackson who looked at him softly and soothingly yet serious. “Just tell how much and it is yours.”

“N-no… If I take money I won’t be able to repay. I can’t take your money.” Boy stuttered looking at Jackson and than shaking his head softly, jerking his hand from Jackson’s grasp to who only one idea popped up in mind. The idea that included legal way of boy using money for his own good without owning Jackson anything in return. It was a bit nuts idea but it was only reasonable solution at the moment when he spoke, “Yes you can and you will…” he said clearing his throat before speaking again, “Yien Tuan, marry me?”

“W-…w-what??” Yien almost yelped from the request or more question like order that came past latter’s plump and soft lips. The male serious, looking at Mark’s deep orbs and again taking a hold of Mark’s soft hand as he caressed it with his thumb.

“You heard me, marry me. That way you can legally use my money without owning me anything, I get you as husband and you get to educate yourself, have a place to stay and especially you get to watch over your granny’s and your health. Once you stand on your own feet we can divorce. So what you say? Repay me with you standing on your own feet someday?” Jackson offered kindly, the soothing act of his voice, softening boy’s features and making the gap between his lips. His eyes glossy and sparks in them quivering in such sad and overwhelming act that mad Jackson’s heart tighten for a split second. He wanted to take back request and just move away again not to see boy again but he couldn’t, knowing that would throw him on the wrong path again.

There was silence surrounding them, but when both of them could actually hear their own thoughts aloud. The soft voice that rang out in a quiet room made all those thoughts stop and made hearts quiver in both of theirs chest and spark lit up in his eyes. “Okay, I’ll marry you…”

3 years later

Mark was half way through his education, currently carefree and more smiley than he was before. And what took to come to this point was actually a big amount of effort and understanding. There was a period of time that took Mark to explain his granny as if why they were moving to the house Jackson bought after his agreement with boy. It took even more effort to explain her only grandson got married from interest and not because of love. It was hard period of time and it was really shocking for all three of them as it was all new to them.

Mark didn’t know what to do with his free time after he quitted working as prostitute and there even was more free time when he quitted working at café every day and only took 3 days of the week to work there on Jackson’s initiative. Telling the boy he needs to focus on his studies and that he shouldn’t be over forced with the job and that he should quit cause it may in some way affect his studying. So as guessed his free time was spent with Jackson who barely done anything in his life until boy showed and after period of adjusting and shyness, boy grew fond of Jackson and so did Jackson.

Now, after three years… when a lot of things changed and lot of upgrades happened as in the way of feelings the male and the boy felt between each other. Granny was one to request her leave to home of the aged not to be in a way to the love that was blooming. Neither Jackson or Mark aware of her intentions they blindly respected her decision and did as they were told. Which led to the fact they were home alone and for some reason they both could feel attraction in the air, practically dragging them to one another but each one decided to ignore the feeling thinking it might not be the way another one of them felt.

Jackson knew he fell hard when he was actually opening his eyes each morning just to lazily stumble to the kitchen where he would see Yien preparing the breakfast in his baby blue hoodie which he seem to love so much. He knew he fell when he was living for the each strand that would fall over boy’s eyes and that he desperately tried to push back. He knew he fell the moment he found other boy peacefully sleeping on the couch in the living room late at night with book in his small yet soft hands as TV was playing in background and throwing blue shadow on boy’s face. That night, Jackson couldn’t restrain and he had left small peck on boy’s cheek throwing a blanket over him and looking at the golden ring that shined under the provided light. It made him not want to see it off ever, but he’d be selfish if he didn’t give the boy divorce he promised once his education was over, which was soon actually.

Starry night was coloring the sky with cadensstellas falling from time to time. Moon was shining brightly and enlightening the less visible paths in the part of town they lived in. Maybe it was enlightening the way Jackson needed to go that night when while he was watching TV , thought about confessing? Maybe not direct confession. Maybe beat around the bush and see how would Mark feel if he mentions divorce and him moving on to stay on his own legs? Maybe that’ll push him away? His head was complete mess as he blankly stared at one spot on TV. His hair messy, wearing oversized black hoodie with red letters and some big sweats while resting on the couch extending his legs on the expansion of the couch.

“Heya!” Soft voice spoke enthusiastically behind Jackson that caused him to flinch before turning his head aside and look at the boy who was putting his bag down on the chair and making his way to Jackson. Wearing big yellow hoodie with ripped jeans, his hair brushed back and smile he had was everything he needed to wear at the moment. Jackson smiled before replying with the same sentence or word more so. Lifting a bit, when Mark threw himself on the couch and disappeared between the pillows. “Sorry I’m late, Youngjae made me go to Chinese restaurant to eat.” 

“It’s okay, don’t worry.” Jackson said as he turned his head over to boy who was fixing his hood of the hoodie while the golden ring shined against his ring finger. Jackson widening his eyes and not noticing before that boy wore a ring to the school, better say university he was going. He was thinking that boy probably takes it off when he goes out and only wears it inside of the house or while he is with Jackson but he never actually thought he wears it to school, where everyone can see. “You didn’t take ring off your finger?”

“No, why would I?” Mark said nonchalantly, bright smile plastered over his face when his sparkly eyes looked at the Jackson in such loving way Jackson couldn’t describe. Sitting straight he shifted his position so it faces Mark on the couch and asked, “I don’t know, cause you go to school and others can see it?” 

“Youngjae already knows I am married. Others don’t really care.” Mark said as confusion graced his features when Jackson bit into his bottom lip and debated whether just to kiss the life out of the boy right there and than but he contained himself and sighed deeply with wide eyes. 

“He knows, and that doesn’t bother you?” Jackson asked twisting his words, in all these years he didn’t know what shy means to him but guess he found out now when he refused to be straight forward. Or was he just afraid of rejection? Was he selfish for wanting Mark to keep that ring on his hand always? 

“No…? If it bothers you I’ll take it off?” Mark recommended heading for his ring on the finger and slowly starting to twist it to pull it off if not for Jackson that gently took his wrist and separated boy’s hand to take them into his own grasp and get his thumb slowly over the golden ring which took Mark off guard as he widened his eyes a little.

“No I don’t want you to take it off…” Jackson cleared his throat, lifting his gaze to meet Mark’s sparkly one and yet so confused with situation he’s been in. Tilting his head aside in such sweet act that got Jackson’s to quiver. Softening his expression, exhaling a puff of air in relieve he closed his eyes collecting the courage before he continued, “I don’t want you to take it ever actually…” 

The last part went like a ghost through the wall and came out more like a whisper that wasn’t heard by latter who was looking at him like lost puppy and when he knitted his eyebrows in small but cute frown Jackson retreated on his previous place. And pulled the blanket over his legs leaving Mark stunned before the boy broke the silence with his soft honey like voice. “What do you mean?” 

“Never mind, forget it.” Jackson said in soft voice, gentle rather to say shaking his head and waving with his hand in nothing important act. Which, let’s be honest got smaller boy even more curious when he sat on his heels against the leather couch facing Jackson and taking him for his upper arm and shaking gently. “Tell me… c’mon.”

Jackson smiled looking at TV, as once again smell that made him weak consumed his body the adrenaline from a second ago turning into some warmth that was collecting around his heart and stomach, what people would probably call butterflies. And only Mark could make them in this situation when he crawled into Jackson’s lap to sit side ways and wriggle with his butt to separate Jackson’s legs so he could make himself comfortable in between his legs. Which he soon did resting his hand against Jackson’s chest and Jackson swore boy could feel his rapidly beating heart. Mark giggled, lifting his head to look up at Jackson with bright smile. “I said never mind. How was at school?”

“Boring, but Jinyoung asked me out.” Mark said as small smile graced his features as he sat like a 10 year old kid in Jackson’s lap. Jackson smile soon enough faded with the mention of another male that was crushing for so long on Mark and whose letters Mark brought back home to read them in front of Jackson for past few weeks. Putting them into his book it made Jackson even more pissed than anything. He was selfish to think Mark couldn’t get love letters cause they were married. But it was marriage of interests and not out of love. For past year it felt like it was out of love, both of them beating around the bush, going forwards and than back, opening and than closing it was wavy way and it was emotionally turbulent. “The guy who has been crushing on your for weeks?”

“Yay you remembered him!” Mark squealed happily and jumped a bit in Jackson’s lap like a kid which he was compared to Jackson who was currently 27 years old and Mark who was 20, almost 21. Mark made himself comfortable by leaning his back against Jackson’s chest and legs crossed in between Jackson’s.

“Of course I did, how could I forget? What did you say?” the male asked impatiently, his hand going through boy’s chestnut hair and massaging his scalp before he retreated once again.

“I said yes, he looks like a nice guy. What you think?” Mark asked in soft voice lifting his head to look at Jackson from weird angle and the male twisted his face in displeasure. Forcing a small smile on his face he failed dropping it down immediately.

“I don’t know. He looks fine but I don’t now, really not a fan of him.” Jackson said I don’t know twice and that was what he had always done as small when he was displeased with situation and he hoped Mark didn’t catch his nervousness and uneasy voice as he spoke.

“Why? Trust me he is fine, he even asked if he could kiss me.” It went past Mark’s lips like it was covered with butter to be slippery. His eyes dancing and smile quivering when he mentioned the kiss and Jackson choked. He literally choked on his spit, coughing a bit before rolling a fist out of his hand that was resting behind Mark on the leaner. Jealousy was written over his forehead as he couldn’t really hide it. The vein on the side of his forehead popped up and pulsated like it is going to explode and the frown he made actually told a lot. “What? You are married how can he even ask you that?” 

Mark only giggled, shifting his position so he was now sitting on his heels between Jackson’s legs and looked at him with doe eyes, galaxy found in them even at the deepest of his eyes. The curves under eyes prominent and looking so innocent with hues of red spreading over his cheeks and pointy nose while his lips were curled in the big smile. Jackson got confused and speechless.

“I have theory, can I try it?” Mark asked in soft voice, brushing his bangs behind as once again Jackson was consumed and drugged with smell of jasmine that he felt in their shared bad (yes), in the clothes Mark would leave to wash and on the pillow Mark used to lay in the living room after a tiring day at school until Jackson would come back home from the work. Feeling yet weak again, Jackson nodded his head softly and relaxed him self when the next moment he found Mark’s hands on his cheeks and felt soft lips against his own.

The happiness and confusion he felt that moment were equal, until euphoric like state consumed him and he pressed boy’s body further into his while hugging him around the waist and supporting boy’s head with his own hand. Closing his eyes he easily slid their lips together, like they were made for each other to make one whole. Both of them satisfied with slow and passionate kiss they were sharing, Mark resting his hands on each one of Jackson’s cheeks and slowly brushed his thumb over latter’s left cheekbone in a soothing act that just encouraged Jackson to put more emotions into the kiss while sliding his hand back on the boy’s nape and continued to kiss him slowly.

After what seemed like eternity, Mark pulled back. His lips swollen and glossy, his cheeks flushed red as well as ears, his eyes sparkly and looking at Jackson. Their chest raising in synchronized movements, both of them panting a little both of them felt that. Mark once again giggled before speaking, “You are jealous…” 

“I am…” Jackson confessed, his hands going to boy’s nape as they leaned forehead against forehead. Feeling their breaths mingling and emotion mixed and strayed. “What about Jinyoung…?”

“He’ll be proud our plan succeed.” Mark chuckled, his laugh echoed against the walls of the empty living room, his eyes closed as well as Jackson’s who only smiled to himself not even surprised boy decided to plat him, cause if anything he was teaching boy it was how to play, how to play someone out of fun. “I like you Mark… Really…” 

“I like you too… What’s worse… I think I actually love you…”


	3. For You

Pain, that pierced through his chest was something that kept him awake at night. The sharp and dull pain switching from time to time. Sharp pain was usually what bothered his heart, from left to right side and than growing on the whole chest area when he would leave one painful groan. Tears would slide down his face, maybe two or more, the rib cage was narrowed too much for him to breath properly. It all seemed like it wanted to burst out of his chest. It was hard, ever since he felt betrayed.

It gotten worse, when the paper he held in his hand tightly showed the heart disease he was holding for quite some time. His heart was dying physically and metaphorically, his pump failing to push adrenaline through his veins and push all of bad emotions through his body instead it was kept in his heart causing greater pain than before. Tear slid down his face, he brushed it with his hand and than pulled oversized hoodie over his head. 

Rubbing the left side of his chest softly with his fingers and looking in the mirror at his miserable expression. Once where smile crossed his features, there was frown. Where the small dimple quivered once, now it wasn't. The spark he had in his eyes, died with the act of betrayal he witnessed. The same act killed love, desire and trust he had even though he felt content about his relationship.

The pain he felt in his chest that day was unbearable, and was constant reminder of what he saw. He wanted pain to stop, cause painful death isn't how he imagined to die. Ever since the incident, he was falling asleep with a wish to never wake up but again. But the morning brought the pain again, like it wanted him to suffer day after day, to make his pain worse. 

What added the salt to an open wound was that specific person wanted them together again, maybe that's what he thought, all that person wanted was a talk. He couldn't handle it, he couldn't handle life right now knowing he needs heart donor in such short amount of time and that he really doesn't want anything to do with Mark Tuan.

"Mark really wants to talk with you." Said black haired male as he sat next to the Jackson in the school canteen. His sleeves rolled up to his elbows while he wore ripped jeans. Jackson's nerve was tickled but he sighed deeply in long and heavy exhale before turning his head around. "I don't care. He can go to hell."

"You don't mean it." Male replied softly, although Jackson's nerve was still tickly. He was sure in his decision in not wanting to see the boy again, not to mention to talk to him. His insides would burn with anger when Mark is mentioned and Mark was what reminded him of his greatest weakness. In the period where he was kid, up to the point he assigned himself to high school, he was insecure. He fought with his insecurities of to who to trust cause everyone seemingly hated him and didn't like his aura.

He couldn't attach to people, they ran from him they mocked him. He was a dork, made for people to mock him and hit him. That's until Mark walked in his life, with no sign what's so ever and got the best version of the older male. He taught Jackson how to make friends, how to be sociable and how to have fun even when everything seems to be so bad and miserable. 

That's why he fell for that boy, for his smile, character and eyes. He felt content about his feelings when he decided to kiss the other boy while they were on school trip. Kiss lasted, kiss was amazing and kiss was what made Jackson insides tickle, it was what promised that he'll do anything for Mark and that Mark will do anything for him.

But what once made his heart quiver with happiness now it made it fall apart. With each quiver part of his heart would disappear. His breath would quicken and it was really bad. He felt pure hate towards another male, cause his once shy shelf was closing and his dork box was opening to get him back on level 1. "I do."

He said taking the tray with food with him and throwing it to the can and going down the hallway where Jaebum again followed him. His footsteps echoed through the hall and attention was brought up to him. Everyone watched while Jaebum begged in some way Jackson to talk to Mark. "I don't see why are you so stubborn. It feels like just yesterday you were willing to sacrifice everything for that boy!"

"Well things have changed. Now fuck off." Jackson said calmly, turning around and facing the said male with brows knitted in anger. The vapor going from his ears cause his last nerve was about to burst. But the other male didn't seem to get the message when he stepped forward with stubborn look in his eyes and spoke again, "No, I think Mark deserves a chance to explain himself for what ever he did. And you are dick if you are not willing to listen." 

Jackson chuckled, irritated smirk appeared on his face as he laughed maniacally before getting his hand through his hair. Rolling the sleeves of his hoodie he rested his hands on his hips. "Well guess I am dick. Who asks me how I feel? No one. Why would I care how others feel? Honestly I don't. Especially I don't care for Mark Tuan. He can go to hell."

Jackson said turning around to leave as everyone gathered in the place. Looked at him and judged him so bad. His heart tightened when he came face to face with the person he prayed not to see. There was Mark dressed in over sized baby blue hoodie with the soft brown strands sprawled over his forehead. Sparkly eyes hid under the bangs, while he looked down at the floor tightly clenching onto books he held to his chest. Mark didn't say anything he just stood there as Jackson decided to speak despite the pain.

"I don't want to talk with you. I don't want to see you ever again. You disgust me. You wanted to be hoe now don't go around and play saint." He said passing Mark and made sure to brush his shoulder harshly against Mark's. The shoulder, he knew smaller boy injured on dance practice when smaller cried out silently.

Couple days after that, Mark didn't appear in school. His spot in classroom was empty. His presence was missed from all but not from Jackson who found complete relief in his absence. He was once again back to level one. He didn't talk to anyone, didn't try to socialize and above all he didn't care. Everyone were hating him ever since incident and he must admit it was harsh of him. But he couldn't fight his anger.

The expression Youngjae, Mark's best friend wore was unreadable. It was sad and confused maybe worried and it didn't hold a smile it once did. The door from the classroom opened and Jackson's heart decided to do its role when the specific person is in sight. Mark was there, walking the yellow hoodie. His hair light almost blonde, under eye circled contrast to his pale skin and the big over sized fabric that hid his perfect portions. Smile he wore was replaced with a frown until he lifted his head to lock his gaze with Jackson. He smiled weakly walking over to Jackson not minding the consequences.

"I... I don't want trouble. I just want to talk with you cause it is important. I'll wait for you on our place after school if you don't appear than ... read this letter please. After this I promise you won't see me ever again." Mark said in soft voice above whisper, his voice weaker than ever while Jackson just eyed him saying no words. Placing the small envelope on the desk, he said quiet please. Boy timidly left the desk and walked over to his to make himself comfortable. One last tine glancing at Jackson who just squished the envelope and threw it in his backpack.

His nerves were playing waltz in his head and his rib cage seemed so narrowed for his lungs. His breath quickened before taking the envelope from his backpack and lifting from his spot to walk over to Mark and stand in front of his desk. Throwing the squished envelope at another, before replying, "I don't need to know your lame excuses. Please keep it to yourself." 

"Jacks... please." Mark pleaded with watery eyes as he reached for Jackson's hand and curled his tiny fingers around the palm of elder male. Jackson jerked his hand back harshly and looked at another boy angrily. He scoffed a puff of air before rolling his eyes and walking away from the desk.

That day he didn't appear on their spot, he didn't even try. After school he went home as his heart was still beating really rapidly. He opened the door of his house when the soft voice of his mother brought him out of the trans. "Welcome home."

"Hi mom." Jackson said plainly, taking off his shoes and lifting his head to greet his mom with the kiss on the cheek. She seemed more happier than usual which caught Jackson's attention despite not being in mood for anything. "What's with you?"

"Doctor called, they found you heart donor!" She said happily and Jackson raised his eyebrows while smile creeped on his face although he was too shocked to react enthusiastically. 

"What? Who is it?" Jackson asked carefully. It was said that one life was taken for him to live.

"We don't know. Doctor said it is anonymous." His mother said really happily while Jackson though this day isn't that bad after all.

***

Jackson sat on the chair in the hospital room waiting for the doctor. His being filled with fear for past few days his heart getting in worse shape as each second passed and maybe even gotten worse when doctor told him even though heart of the donor was healthy and strong he may not survive transplantation. There was 30 percent chance or less he will survive the surgery. Ever since that his mind was preoccupied with thought of death, will his death be easy or will he go out of surgery room healthy. 

His euphoric like state from before was dragged down with the fact he may not get to live another day. The adrenaline of fear that rushed through his veins and than to his whole body made him open his mind and inspect his life choices. And he would lie if he didn't say he felt guilty about the way he treated Mark. Maybe the fact he may die soon made him think he should make things right even though it was too late for regret. His heart once again tightened when he fidgeted with his phone in his hands.

"We're good to go. Are you ready?" Doctor asked when he entered the room. Jackson's mom following right behind the doctor with small smile which again caused pain in Jackson's chest. He hated when cause of him other people were hurting. Yeah it was complete paradox from what he was thinking before finding out he'll die. Maybe. "Yeah I am." 

He got up from his spot walking over to his mother and pecking her cheek and hugging her tightly like he knew what's going to happen but he prayed for different outcome. He wanted to live and correct all of his life choices. He rubbed his fingers into his mother's scalp. Running soothing circles to calm her down and reassure her everything will be okay even though he didn't know that. He tightened his hug a bit more and kissed the cheek of the woman once again before whispering. "Everything will be fine, don't worry... I need you to do something for me?" 

She nodded her head as she signalized she was listening to her son and nuzzled her nose into the crook of Jackson's neck. "Please let Mark know I am here. I want to talk to him after surgery."

"Are you sure? You were so mad on him?" His mother questioned, her eyes narrowed and voice concerned when Jackson nodded his head slowly. Saying it is okay and that he wants to talk to Mark and that he want to give him another chance.

"Okay I'll call him. But please come out of that room alive." His mother said when Jackson nodded slowly following right behind the doctor and going into surgery room. His eyes slowly closed, his worries got away and what he saw on closed lids was the moment he kissed Mark while they were on school trip.

Sun was shining above their heads, grass was swaying in the rhythm of the wind that gently caressed their exposed skin of arms and legs. Jackson was sitting on the grass under the tree covered with shadow that tree's branches casted upon him while Mark sat on the sun. His hand gently caressing Jackson's fore arm and in lully voice assuring him that everything is okay.

"It's okay Jacks you have me..." Mark said in soothing voice, gently taking hold of Jackson's hand and placing a gentle kiss on top off it. That act making elder male flinch. His heart quivering in the happy note when he reached out with his hand to caress Mark's cheek with such tenderness. His finger brushing against the porcelain white skin soft as silk, the red tint appearing on smaller boy's cheek when he gently closed his eyes and nuzzled his nose against Jackson's palm.

"Why don't you hate me like everyone?" Jackson asked in quiet voice his eyes searching for the spark of doubt in smaller boy's eyes which he didn't find.

Mark only smiled gently, his hair messed by the wind going in every direction. His eyes reflecting the sun, making such clear mirror to his soul that was pure. His features child-like, pure and gentle made each part of Jackson feel warm. He never felt more secure in anyone's hold. 

"I can't, cause they don't see true you... I ..." he stopped to look at Jackson's eyes, his eyes roamed for a split second everywhere until they again locked with Jackson's. Cute and soft puff came out of his cherry plump lips before he continued, "Jackson, I love you... Too much that it hurts sometimes..."

Jackson widened his eyes. His mouth agape and his heart skipping a beat as small and happy smile rolled his face. Was this what he needed? Someone to tell him they love him? That has always been something he sought for. Years of torture, years of rejection, of mocking and underestimating. Finally someone who made him better, who accepted him and who was willing to embrace his blemishes. Jackson rested his hand flat on Mark's cheek before speaking, "Can I kiss you?"

Mark nodded his head slowly, leaning in and meeting Jackson half way through the kiss. When their lips touched it was like magic that made Jackson never want to wake up.

It been fifteen days since Jackson's surgery that was successful least to say. Heart transplant was accepted by his body well and it felt like it was his own from how well it fitted. Stiches on his clavicle were almost invisible and well done like nothing was done there. Like they haven't opened his rib cage to replace his rotting heart with new heart. 

But there hasn't been any hearing from Mark. Jackson called but his phone was turned off, he tried asking around the school but everyone refused to talk to him after how he treated Mark telling him he doesn't deserve to know what happened or where Mark went. Told him Mark was better without him and that he shouldn't bother. He felt guilt raising in him to the point he wanted to scream until he found the squished envelope in his backpack.

It was a letter from Mark... 

_Dear Jackson,_

_So, I am writing this letter at the place where we first kissed. I don't know why for past one or more month I am constantly coming here hoping to find you. But it is always empty spot waiting for me, it's never you. I would lie if I say that my heart doesn't ache with each memory I created with you cause it does, so bad._

_I hoped I would get a chance to talk with you but if you are reading this right now that means I didn't for God knows what reason. I know you may be mad on me, I am sure you are mad but it wasn't me who kissed Jinyoung, he kissed me. And I don't blame you for being mad, you are one to say he liked me much more than friend and that he wants us to separate. But I didn't listen and I am sorry it too is my fault._

_But that's not what I wanted to talk with you. I wanted to tell you I am dying. It was already too late when tumor was uncovered and well I was scared. I still am, really. I feel like I need one of your hugs or kisses to soothe me down. I am afraid to die, really I am scared to fall asleep and not wake up the next morning knowing I couldn't make this right._

_I didn't know what to do to get to you or what to do to make it right. I know how you were before and I know how hurt you must have been. I spend my days thinking of how to make it right to you. I was lost, I cried to my sleep while no one was there to calm me down, not even you, not even anyone. I wanted to bad to fall asleep in your embrace and wake up in the same until my last day but I saw it was meaningless. We couldn't do it, and I am sorry for that. I haven't done anything in my life that was as meaningful to me as it was confessing to you, after you I felt lost._

_I saw you many times, crying and holding your chest. I always wondered why. Did my betrayal really hurt that much, was me who cause your heart failure? I beat my head over it for days and I am sure that it was me who caused you to feel that way. I went to hospital and your doctor said my heart was compatible with you._

_So I know we couldn't make it completely right, I know I made huge mistake and I am truly sorry for it. My life is mess, real one you know me even bigger mess without you. Even right now when I am writing this I feel lost and empty, I can't stop tears from running down my cheeks._

_I am pathetic I know, there is so many things I wanted to tell you and I assume I couldn't since you're probably reading the letter. First one is that I really love you, I never loved anyone this much and second is you are good person, you can do so much better and be so much better version of yourself, but I can't. The moment I kissed you I told you I'll do anything for you and this is my anything._

_I gift you my heart, I hope you keep it safe._

_Love you Mark ♡ ___


	5. Under My Skin

At the moment where he was ready to give up everything, to stand and leave the big beautiful mansion, it seems like the universe had observed him cause in a matter of seconds, that gloomy day, he found everything crashing down to the base. Everything he worked for for a long time lost its meaning when certain someone said a firm no.

As if the weather indicated the enormous change in his life, it really did happen. The cold rain that certain day was dropping down like icicle. Sharp and dangerous, one succeeds in sticking into his heart. Tears went down his cheeks, warm and salty as of right now there was no point in his life. He thought, It was useless without love, but also it's selfish if he takes it away.

He sat curled in his room for a couple of days, blankly staring at the wall across like it held something meaningful. His expression gloomy and lifeless, lips twisted down in a frown. Overthinking the decisions he made lately, or a long time ago that might be a cause of this main problem. Beating his head over and over again as in the wrestling rings, until his brain was dead and he felt victorious.

But it was not a victory for him, it was damn torture. He had everything, but what was that damn thing that was missing. Fortunes and fortunes spent on his education spent on his rising position in society meant nothing like a little affection he shared with his now ex-boyfriend.

He forced himself not to think of that, of him and everything they had done. It was a stab to a heart when he was reminded or slightest indication of memory would cause him aches all over the body. 

_'People either have money or love. They can't have both.'_

The words played inside of his head, echoing like in an empty pot. The more they repeated the more sense was beaten to them. The more understanding he came to be with the words of his father. His low voice, an octave lower than it was in real life, made it more fearful and reasoning in his head. It made sense, he had money.

It was a curse he was living with from his birth, ever since he was given name Yien and the last name, that surely did determine his fate and future, Tuan. He exhaled longly at the thought of how miserable his life was, how cold and uncaring everyone was around him.

_'He's right. I can only have one.'_

He repeated but the sentence itself lost its meaning in a period of a week or so. He voted for love, ready to drop everything he was destined to do, to be, to become, and to be simple, caring, loving. And once everything he gave up for crashed, that meaning was lost. He could never have love, just money. And repeatedly it was all about money, as he blinked, his eyes heavy and under eyes' circles prominent.

_'I admit. I am defeated.'_

He thought, exhaling longly and pushing his semi-black dark strands behind. The moments he took to think of his final life-changing decision, were the ones when he exited the room through a double door. Staring down the dark hallway, as a small clue of light at the end enlightened his way.

There was not much to think about if his life is without love he doesn't want it. So he was okay with giving it to someone else. Someone who can make use out of it cause Yien certainly could not. It was completely useful to him when he rolled his hand around the knob and entered the great office with shining white neon bulbs.

The room empty if not for the huge desk, cupboard in the corner and long lower cabinets on one side. Room golden royal, and quiet when the snort rang out with Yien's presence. He was already used at neglecting of his presence and unwantedness of himself, but this decision might change that when he directly stared at the middle-aged man, lost in the papers. The boy was not worth a glance that described relations they had.

"What do you want?" The man whose black hair was slicked back, growled lowly sparing just once single glance over his glasses to the boy that looked like walking dead.

"I accept." He said finally, his voice sore and hoarse. Not speaking for a week did its best at mutating his voice to the point it was unrecognizable. Yelling and crying played their roles as well as of right now he was drained of emotions.

"Accept what??" The man took off his glasses and now was fully staring at the male in front. Not once did he ask if he was good, if he felt okay, cause it did not matter. 

"I accept an arranged marriage. When do I meet my fiancé?" He asked his voice slurry and dry as he waited for the reply. Man only chuckled, pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head.

"So you finally came to your senses. Have you realized that you are not in a position to be loved? Or to love? I don't know if someone can even love the brat like you, but now I proved my point." He said in a mocking tone, smirk over his face as he leaned back in his chair and laughed. 

"Enough. Just tell me when do I meet my fiancé?" Yien said tiredly, his voice begging like as he wanted to get this over with. Just to give his life out on a silver play so someone can put use to it. He was aware that he can't be loved and doubted that he can love again. It turned out to be quite painful.

"I'll invite them for dinner, I believe they'll be delighted with your answer." He said half sarcastically, continuing, "The Wangs are the second richest family in our country. The alliance with them can bring us fortunes." 

"I understand. What do I have to do?" He asked once again, slight frown dipped between his perfectly shaped eyebrows. He knew about them, heard quite a lot of stories of their success and success of their companies. Also a lot of success of his beloved son Jackson, who opposes the marriage as much as Yien. But not anymore.

"Nothing, we already arranged everything, you just have to be pretty and dumb as you are. Understand?" He said in a scoff, boy's face twisting almost but he kept it straight nodding his head and exiting the room to go to his own.

Once in a room, in a cage of his own represented by 4 walls of his room, he sighed. The sigh was rather loud in his ears, as he stood in front of the mirror. He observed his features up and down, flawless face, mid-muscly stature, and beautiful brown eyes.

"Pretty and dumb, huh?" He whispered barely, leaning into the mirror and tracing his fingertips over the smooth skin of the cheeks. He wanted to dig his nails so badly in the skin, to crawl out of his skin. He wanted to before, but now he was just caressing it gently. He snapped out of his trance, pulling the dirty white shirt over his head and throwing it on the floor.

Laying on his back he stared at the high ceiling, the wine red walls adding to gloominess and darkness. Room done neat and cleaned really well, with all the books in bookcases, small nightstand next to bed and couch in the corner. Simple room for simple Yien.

Shifting on the bed he took his phone. Typing the name of his fiancé in a search bar of the browser. A lot of links were connected to their rumored marriage, apparent decline and possible reconciliation. The heartbroken millionaire, one said, while other links approved the marriage between to largest companies in Hong Kong.

He entered the Wiki, reading of Jackson Jiaer Wang, his success and failures which there were almost none. Trophies from fencing competitions, great donations to people and places who needed it, (most recent one for Australia), volunteer work and different projects. Great accomplishment with UNICEF. Yien scrolled down, reading that he's been divorced once recently. And he remembered when that scandal embarked, it was cause his wife cheated on him and got pregnant. But since it was arranged marriage as rumored they remained friends.

Before he turned off the brimming light in the room, he scrolled to the picture of his future fiancé. The male was really handsome, and who wouldn't say so with his brown hair brushed elegantly on each side of his head, muscular chest and perfect physique. Perfect to the point Yien had felt guilty for taking someone else's life down with his.

He locked his phone, putting it aside he rolled over, curling on the sheet as a baby he fell asleep.

[***]

"You do look pretty and dumb, Mark," Joey remarked teasingly, passing next to Yien's room and observing him. The boy just glanced at him closing the door behind. His hair slicked and styled perfectly, navy blue suit hugging his stature perfectly as the turtle-neck white shirt was wide around his neck. Suit jacket reaching to his midthighs and trousers tight.

Joey observed him some more, before going down the stairs slowly. Mark exhaled longly, plucking up the courage he needed for this day to be a win-win he headed down. His slow steps in a pace of his mind that was almost blank, and his chest sting with a slight pain of thinking that sometime soon he will be married to Jackson Wang.

"Honey, you look really good." The lady with short hair stated, dressed in long wine red dress with pearls around her neck and on her ears. He nodded softly in an acknowledgment, feeling a slight squeeze on his shoulder.

"He has to, or we're screwed." His dad said firmly and low as he sat for the head of the table in a big and white dining hall. The servant pouring him red wine in the glass as he sipped it, "Besides, he's just a dummy and this marriage is for the greater good." 

"Raymond! Have a little empathy, he's your son!" Yien's mom scolded as she held the boy under his arm and pulled him closer to herself. The dumb role was actually suiting him well as he only ignored what has been said to him like he did not understand.

"Could have been, if he made the right choice at the right time. Now he's just useless." His father said, drinking the wine to its bottom, "Besides, you say empathize meanwhile ago saying how pitiful he is." 

"I-..." She said turning to Mark who shoved her off gently, nodding his head and walking out of the dining hall. His boots clicked against the concrete floor as he walked upstairs to his room, closing his door after he informed a servant girl to inform him when guests arrive. He sat on the edge of the bed looking down at his feet and tears just went streamed without his notice.

The icicle in his heart was digging deeper and deeper and was spreading ice around his heart which hurt. He inhaled and exhaled holding for his chest, cleaning the tears with a tissue and sniffing. 

_'It's not time to be weak asshole.'_

He told himself, he scolded himself better say. His cheeks flushed but not seen under the foundation he applied, his under eyes bags concealed with brightest concealer and eyes framed with eye-liner. He tried his best to ignore hateful comments and hopefully soon his misery will be over with arranged marriage.

Knock on the door rang out in the room, catching Mark off guard who threw tissue at the side and straightened himself. Servant informing him that The Wangs have arrived second ago. Mark nodded slowly, fixing his suit jacket and getting downstairs to stand next to his parents and brother on the big opened double door.

He stared at the door until the middle aged couple appeared on them. Man has his hair slicked back with the black suit. His wife, really beautiful, hair long and straight, wearing a blue long dress and smile over her face as she greeted everyone from Yien's family until they came to Yien.

"Mark Yien Tuan, a pleasure to meet you." The boy said outstretching his hand to Mr. Wang who shook his hand with the greatest smile.

"Pleasure is all ours. You seem very nice and polite, perfect for our son." He said and Yien could tell he meant it genuinely, a small smile crept on his face despite opposing this marriage.

"Thank you a lot. And you Mrs. Wang I must say you look stunning. Looking better than on photos." The boy stated kissing the hand of the woman gently that chuckled amused.

"Well thank you Yien." She said softly, as Mark looked over her shoulder expecting the extra person aka his fiancé as soon, the male came running to the main door, breathing heavily and fixing his suit he looked up.

"Sorry, I'm late. I had some business to do." He admitted in a low raspy and husky voice that took Yien by surprise not expecting his voice to be that deep and husky. 

"It's okay, you are always very welcomed here," Raymond said shaking his head softly and observing Jackson from head to toes as the boy could notice but ignored his dad as he locked his eyes with his to be husband. His brown eyes had some deepness to them and spark Yien could not explain as he smiled politely.

"Jackson Jiaer Wang... You must be Mark Yien Tuan?" He said plainly, outstretching hand to shake it with Yien who gladly accepted and nodded his head. It was already awkward with all the eyes on them and some even whispers that weren't necessary. 

_'He ain't pleased...'_

The boy thought, letting go of Jackson's hand and letting his fall limp against his side. He dropped his gaze on the floor, looking as if there was something on his boots before following the rest to the dining hall.

The voices to him were muffled once he sat for the table. Not only voices but also any kind of sound that was made by silver plates, or glasses, heels clicking against the floor. He was slowly shutting down out of the world, playing with his food and letting the questions asked him to be answered by his dad. As he said, Yien's job was to be a dummy in all this puppet show they called business.

The emptiness inside his head was calming, as sounds quickly faded that surrounded him. He felt isolated and alone, yet warm and calm. His fork danced around the roasted potatoes, and steak but not once did he think to taste. He completely lost his appetite over a week ago, barely eating anything but chips and water.

Looking up, his gaze landed on Jackson that was too focused on his plate as Yien. Reasonable, their future has been discussed and they had no power over it whatsoever. It's like they were both dummies in this show for other's entertainment. He was about to drop his eyes down when Jackson lifted them, deep chocolate eyes staring at him and Yien immediately got a feeling like he was been held in a cage. Actually both of them.

Younger dropped his eyes down after a long staring, not wanting to see the eyes of the person he will be ruining life to with this marriage. He could not look those begging eyes or he thought they were as he was snapped out of his trance with a low husky voice.

"Do you mind showing me around?" He asked politely, the corner of his lips tugged in a slight smile and without further ado Yien nodded his head pushing his chair from the table. They excused themselves, exiting the dining hall and walking down the long hall with a lot of pictures.

"Are you interested in anything in particular?" Yien asked softly stopping his feet and turning to a slightly taller male, "We have a pool, game room, piano room... Ehh I guess anything that comes to your mind."

"Game room sounds nice," Jackson replied with the low voice a lot more pleasurable than before following Yien who made his way down the hall and opened a big door to the game room. A dim light in the room due to small windows in the corners and dark green walls, great pool table in the middle with black leather sofas and table in the corner with whiskey, "Do you play pool?"

"A little. What about you?" He replied walking around the table to be across from Jackson and look down.

"Every Friday and Saturday," Jackson admitted with a chuckle taking the wooden stick into his hands and tossing the other male another stick. Yien staring confused, getting a message as Jackson hit the white ball that sprawled other colorful balls around the table, "Your turn." 

"You play it home or?" He asked, the atmosphere kind of weird as it was obvious Jackson tried to break the tension. The black-haired male was grateful as he hit the ball right into the hole in the corner. Walking over the table, leaning his body down and focusing on the white ball until he hit again and missed.

"No, I prefer going out with friends and playing it. Besides you are very skilled I must admit." He said and leaned over the table to where the white ball was and striking it with a stick so purple ball fell into a hole, "Do you usually go out?"

"Not really. I am quite indoors type." Yien admitted, not always has he been like this. Only recently ever since he felt his heartbroken, he couldn't actually make himself go out and socialize.

"I heard opposit. They told me you are the party type, funny and outdoors. Who's lying?" Jackson laughed trying to ease the tension and slowly succeeding as the younger cracked small smile in the corner of his lips. Hitting the ball that went into the hole as he continued striking.

"Noone, I just don't find myself in that area anymore." Jackson glanced at him with raised eyebrows and getting his hand through his hair.

"Why is that? Is this about the rumored break up?" Jackson asked softly as Yien shot up his head up, his jaw slightly down as he soon nodded. What is the point in pretending what he is talking about when lots of media have been talking about him and his evident break up with 'lower' status boy?

"Yeah, it was recently." He said in barely audible voice leaving the stick and leaning against the edge of the pool table.

"I understand. I am sorry to hear it." Jackson appeared in front of him, soon leaning against the edge as well at quite a distance from Yien.

"You don't have to pity me. I get that enough lately." The boy said with a huff of air past his lips looking down at his feet and inhaling, "We should go back unless something else interests you?" 

"Look I didn't mean to offend you. When I say 'I understand', I do." The male insisted in a low husky voice, turning his head aside to Yien, "It's not like we get to decide for ourselves, and it's not like we both want this marriage." 

"Why do you oppose?" Yien stated bluntly turning his head to face the older of the two.

"And why do you support?" Jackson shit back with a raised eyebrow and crossed arms.

"I asked first." 

"And I asked second?" He chuckled at Yien's frustrated frown between the eyebrows that soon disappeared as he got his hand through his hair with a puff of breath leaving his mouth.

"It's not like you would understand, even if I told you." He said firmly pushing his body from the edge, "But don't worry, I won't stop you from having your life." 

"Yien I am serious, I came here to discuss marriage." He said seriously, sitting on the pool table with one leg folded over it the other hanging down, "Since I can't change the fact we will be married, why not discuss stuff we have control of?" 

"And that being? Do we color walls in our future house purple or green, or whether we get a cat or a puppy?" The younger snorted sarcastically and rolled his eyes.

"No. I wanted to ask you to decline the marriage." He said nonchalantly, his face serious and eyebrows lowered meanwhile Yien raised his eyebrows at the sudden request. He trembled a little and bit his lip thinking of what to say? I mean answer was obvious he can't decline marriage, and low key he wanted it just to put a use to his life.

"Why??" He asked in a tremorous voice.

"Cause... well obviously we don't want it," He trailed off a little looking around and then straight into Yien's eyes being quiet for a while before continuing, "and, I have someone I really care for, like truly... I would appreciate it if you decline the marriage." 

Yien stared at him. His chest narrowed for his lung pressing that icicle deeper into his heart. He heard it bumping loudly in his ears as all case scenarios went through his empty head if he does decline. And none of these case scenarios were good ones. It all were bad ones, harming ones, painful ones... But... he would have suffered even in marriage. He exhaled before replying, "Fine, I will do it." 

"You will??" Jackson asked with raised eyebrows and happiness in his voice and for a brief moment, Yien forgot the consequences of the decline as he stared at the latter.

"I will, tonight. Promise. But what will your parents say?" He asked curiously and bit into his lip.

"Nothing I think, the girl is as well from a wealthy family so our marriage is possible." He explained. Nodding Yien smiled weakly as he walked over the door and opened it, "How will your parents react?" 

"Don't worry about them. I'll handle it." Yien said disappearing behind the door as Jackson followed whispering a thank you.

[***] 

"How is Jackson? Was he satisfied with the house?" Raymond asked as he sat on his favorite sofa in the living room holding a cup of whiskey 15 minutes after The Wangs left.

Yien fidgeted in his seat, lost in thoughts for a moment as if how was he supposed to say that he doesn't want this marriage? How was he supposed to say it only a day after he supported it? He shook his head and tried to calm his trembly hands noting the black suit jacket tossed over the sofa.

"He was amazed, honestly," Yien replied, glaring at the jacket that obviously was Jackson's. Male leaving it there when they moved to drink into a livingroom and probably forget it. Boy exhaled longly and silently, knowing that his life after this night will be a complete mess, shuddering he opened his eyes.

"Good. And you did a good job playing dumb and pretty. Although you don't have to play dumb to be that." He said drinking his whiskey and pouring another glass as Yien was forced to sit there on the small chair and listen to offending words his drunk father threw at him, "You are the prettiest... of all my children... Put that beauty and physique to use. Use what your momma gave to you and swing that Jackson Wang around your finger." 

Yien blushed, deeply and dirty comments wanting to cover his ears but not being able to as his hands were glued to his knees. His head filling with lots of dirty images he couldn't quite process nor he wanted to. Cause all those were about his ex, about the person he tried so hard not to think about. 

"Be the whore and seduce him, cause that's just what you are.... thank good this marriage i-is saving your dignity. Again... not that you have any, you whore." He slurred on his sofa enjoying himself with hateful comments he made and a stray tear went down Yien's cheek. "God... god knows what you've been doing when not home..." 

"I haven't been doing anything, okay?!" Yien snapped brushing his tear from the cheek tired of all this humiliation that just crossed every possible line, "I just decided to love someone?? Is that so bad? I wanted to be different, to have a change in my life and not life as plain as you guys do despite all the money you have! I won't stand any more of this humiliation, I'm sick of it!" 

"Who told you you can speak???" His dad got up from the sofa his hand raised in the air until a cough has been heard from the door. Yien turned his head quickly to see who it is and widen his eyes as Jackson stood at the door with his white flannel unbuttoned from up a little. His face confused, as he stared for a couple of moments.

"Uhm... excuse me I forgot my jacket and servant told me you were here so I just wanted to say hi?" He explained but too nice for Yien's likings who smiled a little looking at his confused dad.

"Oh, Jackson! It's okay to come in, I was just telling Yien a story about the robbery we had a year ago." He tried to sound as sober and reasonable as before but failing. Black haired male lifted from his chair and walked to where the jacket was and then to Jackson landing his hand on his broad shoulder.

"That sounds nice! Feel free to tell me when I visit next time, I'm in kind of hurry now." He said as he waved and exited the room following right behind Yien.

"You forgot your jacket, I wanted to tell the servant to send it to you tomorrow." Yien explained, his voice soft but his mind hazy as he lifted his gaze offering Jackson a jacket, "And by tomorrow we won't be engaged anymore." 

The older male kept quiet for a while staring at the boy as Yien could feel eyes on him. He prayed that the older did not hear any of the accusations made by his dad. He looked at Jackson and forced a smile.

"A whore?" Jackson raised his eyebrow at the younger who widened his eyes and then dropped his head down, knowing Jackson probably heard everything, "Is this how they treat you every day?" 

"No... No, he is just drunk, he says things when he is drunk don't worry. They don't affect me." He replied shaking his head and forcing a smile on his face.

"Don't lie. I know when people lie and I hate it. He was about to hit you back there, wasn't he?" Jackson said wrapping his fingers around Yien's upper arm and jerking him gently, "And tell me the truth?"

"It's none of your business, you got what you want you can leave now," Yien assured, snatching his forearm from Jackson's grasp and giving him a glare but for some reason older was persistent.

"It is one of my business. I'm against any kind of violation ok? I hella have a company meant for that." He said with raised eyebrow taking Yien's shoulders and shaking him a little.

"It's really fine Jackson." Yien tried to assure him for the last time.

"How long? And tell me honestly?" He asked with puppy eyes staring down at the younger male. Yien bit his lip, blinking his eyes, he exhaled.

"Two years..." He whispered defeated.

"What? That's long, why didn't you tell anyone?" older questioned retreating his hands from Yien's shoulders down, "Why haven't you reported it?"

"I couldn't. I mean they can treat me like trash but I am not like them. I can report but there is no evidence, they have never hit me plus I don't want a scandal about it which probably would say that I am a huge liar." He said with a shrug of his shoulders and looked over one.

Jackson was quiet for a while staring at Yien that looked for a servant to see Jackson off cause he couldn't leave the house at the moment and feeling a warmth in his hand that caused him to jerk back to Jackson.

The boy pulled his hand from that grasp and left it lay limp on his side staring at the older male, "What is that for?" 

"You haven't told your parents about the decline of marriage? Jackson asked in a low husky voice that rose shivers down the boy's spine.

"No, I haven't. I'll tell them later," he said.

"Don't... We are going to get married." He suddenly said causing Yien to raise his eyebrows in surprise and his lips agape as of what other was talking about. Make up your damn mind Jackson Wang!

"What?" The younger snapped slightly, not that he cared about the pitch in his voice.

"I said we are going to get married. No excuses and no buts. Just say you'll marry me and we'll figure everything out later together." The older male stated holding Yien for a hand that confused him less to say staring at the taller.

"You are really confusing. I don't want to marry you cause I have no other option to solve this situation. Plus you have a girlfriend? Don't you want to marry her?" 

"I get it you don't like pity, but this is not pitying this is the oportunity for a new and I must say weird life." Jackson joked, laughing a little, "I think my girlfriend will understand my decision." 

"How are you so sure?" He asked unsurely but not jerking his hand back out of the soothing warmth.

"I am, she works with me. I know her. So... Will you marry me, Mark Yien Tuan?" He asked with a smile as Yien pondered for a seconds before nodding slowly with an exhale. Jackson leaned down kissing his cheek barely pulling back and smiling, _"Welcome to Wang family."_

The month had passed rather really slow and in agony till they finally got married. The way his world crumbled to the dust and then again rose up when he finally signed that marriage contract. That was probably the first genuine smile that cracked upon his lips ever since the last crash. Not happy about the fact that he bonded Jackson to himself instead of letting him marry the woman he loves, but right now the older male was not taking complaints as they rode to their new place.

Where was it, or how was it? The younger male did not know as he leaned his head on the window, his head hazy from the champagne he was forced to drink. The public image was once again important as he had to have his posture straight, a smile on his face as everything is okay and not escaping his grasp. Cause each picture taken by media, different magazine people, model companies he represented wanted to mark this wonderful day of joy and happiness with Yien.

They did not, all they wanted is a good story to write about. To fill the headlines and get money. Money? It was all that people thought about as he sighed. Why is the money that important? Why does it have to rule everyone and allure them into a lifestyle that is not as pleasant as they think?

He rolled the silver ring around his finger, looking down and biting into his lip. For a brief second gazing out to Jackson that gripped the wheel as he drove calmly and silent music was playing in the background just to conceal unpleasant silence surrounding them. How are they even gonna function together? How is their life together suppose to look like?

"I am sorry to put you in this situation. But also, thank you." Yien said in a plain voice. The latter was obviously broken out of the trance while staring at the rode and shook his head slowly. Focused on the road he said nothing for a good while.

"I am too tired to think about it. We'll talk when we get _home_." He said in a tired voice that was hoarse as night was developing the sky. To be truthful Jackson hasn't said much back on the party nor he said much after they departed from their parents. The boy shifted to make himself more comfortable in a seat and look at the moving pictures outside of the window.

There was barely any house beside the road as they drove, the forest surrounding them but it did not bother Yien cause from what he heard the place was private. It was a small penthouse outside of the town, with a fence wall around on the demand of the Wang family knowing the two males would need their privacy.

The car stopped in front of a gate, waiting for it to open as he drove inside. Parking the car at the mere entrance he turned off engine glancing at the smaller male saying, "Okay, we're here."

The boy nodded, exiting he locked his eyes with the one-floor house, but the same widely spreading on the property. The lights were turned on in one of the rooms that looked like a living room with cappuccino walls. The few servants passed them with their bags and got into the house. Yien following behind Jackson when they entered.

"You all are dismissed for today. We want to rest." Jackson said taking off his suit jacket and hanging it as Yien clung to his own in his arms looking at the simple small hall with closet and cupboards. Walls in light color beige with a small modern picture hung near the door.

He was more than tired. Fatigue filled him up, and made every move very slow and deprived. His head was empty but the banging heart told him that a lot of things were wrong and that it wasn't fair. The bright brown color of the living room walls calmed him down a bit when he sat on a black leather couch and bent his toes into a stuffed carpet. Everything on the look was simple and very tidy with the kitchen at the other end of the room.

"Are you hungry?" The older male asked entering the room with the sleeves of his flannel rolled up to his elbow. 

"A little, champagne didn't lay well with me." The boy admitted fondling his stomach over the white flannel awkwardly sitting on the couch. He got his hand through his hair and leaned on elbows.

"Same, it did not sit well with my nervous stomach." Other said with an exhale, "Okay so, do I order pizza or chinese?" 

"I don't know. I'll let you decide." The boy said softly with a small smile towards Jackson trying to ease the atmosphere a little as it was already beyond awkward.

"Then pizza. It shall be here right after we take a shower. Do you want to go first?" other delayed a number holding a phone up to his ear. Shaking his head, Yien gestured for the brown haired male to go first.

"I'm tired I'll rest a bit. You go ahead." He said politely laying on the couch and taking the pillow under his head closing his eyes and after that everything went blurry and silent. The soft leather sofa felt really nice under his body almost reminding him at the time he spent snuggled with his ex, watching TV and eating popcorns or chips.

He already missed those days a little but learned to be indifferent with it cause it was past. It was something he didn't want to haunt him or torture him as he already had enough torture on his own. He pushed the memories once again back when Jackson entered the room with water dripping down from his strands and towel around his waist.

The boy lazily got up from the couch, observing the male that rubbed the towel over his hair. He sucked in the air as he watched muscles flex and shift with every movement. He knew the latter was handsome and well built but the peek under the clothes was a completely different story.

He tore his gaze off him when Jackson spoke, "Like what you see?" He chuckled at the lame joke and Yien just nodded his head with no shame, cause what? He could compliment another's body.

"You look really good I must admit." He said lifting from the couch as he proceeded to move past older male and brush his shoulder against his own playfully as he chuckled. The tension was less as Jackson too chuckled.

"Everything is prepared for you, our bags are in the bedroom next to it." The brown-haired male said and pointed down the hall where the bathroom was and opened the door for a bedroom. He nodded getting to the bathroom and soon showering really quickly in a small simple, blue-tiled bathroom.

Sitting on the edge of the bed he was confused. Complete and utter discomfort graced his face and body as he looked around. His strands dripped with water and his frame wrapped in a large t-shirt and shorts. The red rose petals resting on his palm and all over the king-sized bed as the fragrance of cinnamon and apple consumed the room. Like some kind of romantic atmosphere was tried to be created but to Yien it was discomforting with all dim light in the room and each petal on the floor.

_'Are they really expecting us to sleep together? Like... fuck and stuff?'_

Yien questioned with a frown on his face and it digs the icicle to the really painful point in his heart as he wanted to break and finally cry his soul out. Cry cause each time he tried to push the romance out of his life it was always brought back. But Mark, he was dummy now, he doesn't need love nor he can have it.

"Are you okay?" A low husky voice came from the door, Mark lifted his head, throwing the petals slowly from his palm and inhaling deeply shrugged his shoulders.

"You tell me. Are you okay with all of this?" Replying in a normal crystal clear voice with a huff, "Are they... like really thinking we are going to fuck?"

"I am not honestly. But servants don't really know much about our arranged marriage. They think we can marry who we want. And that I want you." Jackson stated bluntly, fixing the hood of his hoodie he walked over and sat on the acceptable distance from Mark. Boy scrunched his face in displeasure as he leaned on his knees.

"What stupid assumptions. Don't they know about the woman you like?" He turned his head to the latter that shook his head slowly looking at his hands.

"No they don't, nor they will get a chance to." He exhaled really longly, and Mark thought his eyes look really sad as guilt rose in his chest. He took away Jackson's life, and now he's paying for it.

"I'm sorry really..." he shifted on the mattress to fold one leg on it and relaxed his shoulders, "But if it helps, I don't forbid you from seeing her, and I am willing to give you divorce when I figure out what I am gonna do with my life."

"That won't be necessary. I doubt she wants to see me after yesterday." Mark frowned at the older, his eyebrows dipped in a cute frown and his lips slightly agape indicating confusion.

"Why? What happened?"

"What didn't? Let's just say that I thought I knew someone but it turned out differently." He said and as if he was telling Mark's life story, younger felt that sentence. You live for someone, you dedicate your life to someone, you do whatever necessary to make that one happy thinking they would do the same, but cards then are turned up. He kept quiet for a while and so did Jackson.

"I understand. Do you like her still?" he crossed his legs against the sheet at the ankles.

"I do, but what's there to do. She said what she had." He replied looking at Mark and smiling, "If you are thinking of me trying again, don't. She said some things that made me realize how things actually are." 

"I don't do the thinking. Remember pretty and dumb?" Mark tried to brighten the atmosphere, tapping his temple with his forefinger and having a wide grin. For his suprised Jackson laughed showing his perfect teeth and lea ing back on his arms.

"Pretty yes, dumb... I wouldn't say so." He flashed a smile towards Mark that was shaken of the guard and rose his eyebrow to hit Jackson on the upper arm.

"C'mon let's eat, pizza will cool down." Mark joked lifting from the bed and rushing to the door before speaking again, "The last who gets to livingroom gets us drinks!" 

"Hey, that's not a fair asshole!" Jackson shouted with a laugh rushing after Mark to the living room where the smell of pizza was spreading. Mark getting first plopped on the couch with a giggle hugging the pillow and sticking his tongue to Jackson who rolled his eyes and went back to take the Sangiovese and two glasses and place them on a table and turn on the TV.

The boy could not remember the last time he was this carefree. He could not remember he was smiling and laughing at Jackson's failed jokes and not to speak how many times he choke on his pizza laughing. Somehow out of awkward atmosphere they came to the cheery one and really relaxed. Maybe wine did its role as well of them both relaxing.

Jackson sat next to him on the couch, pouring Mark another glass of wine as they watched football together. Laughing and sipping the wine so they don't get tipsy or drunk. It was less to say relaxing but to say pleasurable as well. 

"You are insane... You really think he is the best player in this game??" Mark pointed at the male that was on the screen getting the best player in the game trophy and smiling widely.

"Did you see how many passes he tossed successfully? How many slides and plus he snatched that ball multiple times?" He tossed arm behind Mark on the leaner and holding an empty glass of wine he pointed to the screen amused.

"Still! That guy didn't cut so many passes and did not score any point. And he was on the field more than your cocky dude!" Mark giggled pulling his legs to his chest and threw his arms in fake frustration looking over to Jackson who was focused on the screen, "What criteria are used here anyways?" 

"There's none honestly, it's just who pays most money to get that prise. It increases their demand in other clubs." Jackson stated slurry, frowning a little cutely and puckered his lips a little before relaxing.

"Such a clever dick you are, are you not?" Mark joked a little with a giggle, admitting that he was a bit tipsy and relaxed as he nudged Jackson's side slightly.

"What did you just call me?" Other turned his head around amused, with a huge smile and raised eyebrow that made Mark laugh, shaking his head, "What's so funny??"

"Nothing." He said and squealed when the kicking alcohol made Jackson crawl on top of him and press his whole weight down to start tickling the boy. He tried his best to show make off him gently but he couldn't as he laid, back flat on the couch with Jackson between his legs tickling him, "Okay, okay enough! My tummy hurts!" 

The brown-haired male exhaled with a laugh dropping his body on top of a much smaller one and rest his jaw on Mark's chest as boy breathed heavily. He looked down at the puppy eyes and they both chuckled.

"This is not as bad as I thought it would be, a month ago." He propped on his elbows and stared at Mark that nodded his head slowly himself staring down at the male and bringing his hands unsurely to latter's hair to ruffle it.

"Same, I thought I'd be taking your life away and it would be damn awkward." The boy cradled through the hair which Jackson did not seem to mind which encouraged him not to stop and scratched his fingers in it gently like he was petting a puppy.

"Yet you gave me another, didn't you?" Jackson said nonchalantly and locked his eyes with Mark. The boy stared quietly taken aback by the question and slightly confused. The depths of sparkly puppy eyes were pulling him closer until their faces were a mere inch apart. Jackson pushed up slightly so Mark did not crane his neck weirdly and he did not pull back at any moment.

Mark lifted his eyes to see Jackson staring at his lips, salivating his own and mirroring younger's movements. If he was anywhere near the rational state of mind, he wouldn't be even thinking of it but he wasn't so he pressed his lips experimentally against Jackson's. He snapped his eyes shut when older pressed his soft and gentle lips firmly against Mark's.

After a few moments, they detached, staring at each other flushed as a smile crept on Mark's face. The brown-haired male smiled as well as hovering over the boy.

"That... That was really nice." He said out of breath for some reason and soon chuckled pulling Mark to sit properly on the sofa with a distance between them. But it did not get awkward it was pleasant as they both started laughing sweetly.

"I agree. You have really nice lips." The boy blurted out sitting on his heels and flushed, smiled.

"I like how you turn a simple kiss in complexed one." he complimented gently and chuckled. "Plus, you taste sweet. Almost like cherry.

"Grapes." Mark corrected, smiling genuinely and leaning back down on the couch tossing his legs over Jackson's lap who did not mind and smiled a little. Turning his attention to the TV and switching the channel to a movie.

"Care to watch a movie, clever dick?" He nudged Mark's legs who only laughed softly and nodded his head, tingly sensation on his lips as he licked them and chuckled. No way that in a rational state of mind he would have allowed it.

After a long hours, they agreed it's time to bed, older helping Mark to make himself comfy in the bed as he took the extra pillow and blanket saying he'll sleep on the couch in the living room. There was not much room for Mark to protest as he just had agreed and thanked the older.

The next morning, the sun brimmed through the window in the room and threw its rays across the boy's sleepy face who moaned opening his eyes. He outstretched his body and lazily tossed his legs over the edge and stepped on the petals from the previous night.

He stumbled to the living room, holding onto a door frame he observed the morning enlightened room and then sleeping figure on the couch wrapped in a blanket. He chuckled approaching the couch and squatting down seeing Jackson's peacefull face and long lashes against his flushed cheeks. His brown hair scattered in all directions and he was relaxed.

He chuckled, taking the glasses from the table lazily and walk over to the sink to place them in. Opening the fridge and taking out the eggs and bacon to put them on the counter. Turning the burner on and placing a pen he broke two eggs on the butter. Burning and delicious smell spread to his nostrils and lungs as he smiled. 

His smile dropped when he felt a chin pressing to his shoulder and morning breath mixed with alcohol nuzzled against his neck and ear. He chuckled hearing older male sniff the breakfast before detaching and looking down to the pan.

"Morning..." His voice lower than before, and hoarse like a lump was in his throat, getting his hand through his hair.

"Morning, sorry if I woke you up." The boy apologized with a chuckle, glancing at Jackson that snatched 2 pills from a container into his palm and drank them with water, his Adam apple jolting up with each gulp.

"You didn't, the smell woke me up. What are you making?" He elongated over the boy's shoulder once again and sniffed.

"Eggs and bacon." The boy removed the pan from the burner looking at Jackson, "Plates if you don't mind?" 

"Oh wait." He snapped his head up to open the cabinet and pull out the plates setting them on the counter for Mark to move the eggs. Putting a piece of bacon inside of the pan he started roasting the same. Turning off the burner he placed a piece of bacon on the plate and gave Jackson his, "We have servants you know? You didn't have to bother with breakfast."

"I don't like when people are doing things for me when I can do them." Mark chuckled as he sat on the couch with Jackson next to him that started eating slowly. 

"Do what?" Jackson joked swallowing the bite.

"I said. I do things." Mark snorted back with a chuckle and they both laughed finishing their breakfast. Mark took the plates slowly walking to the sink as the breeze from the opened window caressed his face and the bangs. Somehow doing what he didn't want he got what he wants.

The scent of the egg that remained in his nose was very pleasant. The whole house was simple and for his taste. The atmosphere was light and relaxed. It even reminded him of the days he spent at his ex's house, making the same omelet or something. Everything was similar, simple and tempting.

Arms around his waist also reminded him of the past. _Wait what?_ He snapped his head aside and felt familiar lips on his own. The grip around the waist lessened and held his hips as his body was turned at a weird angle. Lips plush and soft, caressing and touching his own. Jackson shifted their position, nestling Mark against the sink and tilted his head aside.

_'Wait? What? Uhm... Shall I pull back? I know I should but it's so soothing.'_ Mark debated inside of his head, as his lips moved against Jackson's perfectly, spark going down his spine as he shivered grabbing on Jackson's hoodie to hold him still, _'The heck with it...'_

He kissed back. Not in a million years would he say that he'll kiss someone like this again. But there he was, letting Jackson devour his lips gently, holding him for hips and giving a small nibs on his bottom lip. The alcohol breaths mixing as he slightly tapped Jackson's chest who detached breathing heavily.

"W-What was that for?" he asked stuttering before he regained his breath and licked his lips from excess saliva on his lips. His bangs were messy as he still held on the older's upper arm. The latter stared at him with the same abused lips, licking them before he chuckled softly. 

"Making sure I did not dream the previous night," Jackson said his hands still remaining on perched hips of the younger and holding them close.

_'Dream? Is he serious? Is that suppose to be a compliment?'_ Mark debated for a little while. He decided to play for a bit longer to see where this is going, but he knew something was up. Before he got to say anything he was cut off.

"But now seriously. I want us to talk." He stated detaching from Mark and stepping back a little and somehow Mark did not like Jackson's serious face. For the month he knows him, that did not indicate anything good or it indicated that Jackson gave much thought about something.

"Oookay?... About what?" He leaned against the counter with Jackson standing in front of him. He sure had lots of questions for older male but those could wait for now.

"After our kiss yesterday... and this one now as well... " He chuckled as he began, somehow nervous but straightening himself as any sign of nervousness left his body, "I want us to try and be couple." 

"We already are a couple? I mean we are married?" Mark said stunned and washed with a bit of shock. Did he really mean what Mark meant or he had his other reasons.

"You think too much. Stop. I want us to be real couples, true husbands okay?" He said immediately. Boy shot his eyebrows up and his lips agape.

'He concluded he wants a relationship based on a kiss? Ouch?' Mark kept his flow of mind and bit into his lip looking everywhere but Jackson. What was he supposed to say? Bluntly yes? Thoughtless jumping into a relationship that probably had no future despite being married?

"I don't think I want to. You can't decide you want a relationship based on one simple kiss?" The boy argued with a frown dipped between his eyebrows.

"Yes I can and I did." Jackson argued stubbornly, in a calm and firm low husky voice that sent shivers down the latter's body, "I told you, your kiss is not as simple as you think."

"Yeah? It pretty much is. What's to it that I don't know?" Mark snapped back with rose eyebrows and crossed arms. Why did he even care at this moment? Wasn't he suppose to be okay with everything and be dummy without feelings? He had a huge inner conflict.

"I know I am not wrong but you give away far to many emotions with a kiss. First, fear and doubt then dedication and willingness." Jackson said determined and persistent as Mark stared at him with an even deeper frown, and his inner conflict did not help much as he snapped. He couldn't anymore, what's with this sudden outburst?

"I don't want to listen to this bullshit anymore!" He said pushing his frame from the sink and brushing past Jackson heading for the bathroom. His head was pounding, and heart as well, he did not want to hear about things he tried so bad to push back.

Fingers wrapped around his wrist and gently tugged him back as he jerked his hand back. Pressed against the wall soon enough gently, Jackson's strong arms pressing his shoulders to the cold wall and Mark felt spark litting inside of him. He wanted to shut all problems and inner conflict off and be emotionless but he couldn't.

"Sorry, okay? I didn't mean to be this straight forward and harsh." He said gently brushing hair from Mark's face and making sure he won't run he pulled back giving Mark enough space to move and breathe which was a little bit hard, "I think I like you, like more than a friend. And I know we are somehow both broken-hearted, but also that's one of the reasons I think we should try. Cause we understand each other."

"Please... I don't want to and I really can't discuss this now. Just give me time." Mark begged with sparkly eyes as he inhaled deeply. He saw older male stepping out of his way and nodding his head slowly with lips tugged slightly down, "Thank you." 

"No problem, I suppose." Jackson said less enthusiastically, "When you are ready to talk, feel free to do it." He said as he leaned down to kiss Mark on the cheek before exiting the room. As for the younger, he felt kind of grateful and ticklish feeling down his body.

***

The air was fresher than it was a month ago, it smelled on autumn as golden leaves fell from the braches. Collecting into a pile under every tree and flying away with each gentle breeze or strong wind. Not that only leaves flew, but also a cloud of dust that would sneak into people's mouth or nose and make them cough violently.

The sky was gloomy, and droplets of rain fell down silently and hit the umbrellas. The calming sound of droplets against the umbrella rang out in black-haired male's ears as he walked down the street with chinese in one hand and umbrella in another. The black suit that was his favorite hug his stature, with turtle white flannel wide around his neck.

The sound of people chatters, their shouts and incoherent voices joining into one pile of sounds that were irritating. Though Mark paid no attention to them as he walked, his boots clicking against the street. The sun was setting behind the dirty clouds as street lights started turning on one by one. 

_'I need time. It's been a month and I said nothing.'_

Mark argued inside of his head, his heart fluttering for a split second as he thought of Jackson. Nothing has changed in their relation, they remained friends as they've been the month before the alliance. But it was awkward pretending like nothing had happened when there was a ton lot of shit they needed to talk about, and with Jackson's confession, Mark was sure it was hella a lot of hard for Jackson to act like everything is okay.

Maybe he was over-thinking stuff as usual? As he now let himself feel, which was a great challenge for Mark, he knew he liked Jackson. And how couldn't he really? He's been giving him space when he was in bad mood, talking to him when he had a problem, hang out with him when he felt lonely. It all come and go, only Jackson Wang remains.

He inhaled stepping inside the building and handing his umbrella to the guy at the door. He walked over to the elevator pressing the button and isolating into his mind once again. The same old building where Jackson worked. The elevator dinged and the boy entered it pressing the last number on  
board and looking down.

_'Was it smart to bring Jackson lunch? Maybe he already ate?'_

_YOU THINK TOO MUCH. STOP._

Jackson's words played inside of his mind, louder than ever with his beating heart joining the melody. Or noise. He stepped out of the elevator and walked down the familiar path until his hand knocked on the door before opening them.

"Mark?" Jackson said confused, putting the phone down as if he was speaking to someone. His hair slicked back and flannel undone slightly indicating the day was rough to Jackson.

"I'm sorry for coming unannounced. I'll go." And yet he was really easy to give up from the courage he collected. 

"No, no, wait." Older walked over the table to close the door from the small office and put his phone back on the ear, "Mr. Smith is it okay if I call you later? Mhm, won't take too long I promise. Ok, ok, I'll look into it."

He said in fluent English and Mark understood that was probably someone important. He walked over to the desk turning to Jackson and smiling softly.

"What are you doing here EnEn?" He said in a gentle raspy voice that never failed to send shivers down Mark's spine and make his heart flutter with joy.

"Brought you lunch. Hope you didn't eat?" He said timidly, shoving the plastic bag in front of himself containing two boxes and 2 pairs of chopsticks. 

"I haven't actually. Thank you." He said taking the bag from Mark and offering him one box from it that boy gladly accepted and sat on the black leather sofa with Jackson on the other.

"No problem. I was freed from my schedule today and being home was a bit lonely so I came." he said with a smile and opening the box he inhaled the smell of noodles with chili, "I hope you don't mind me dropping by suddenly?" 

"No, I could have used some company. This has been hella of the day and I just can't take no more." He said attacking his noodles like a child that loves sweets and exhaling when he swallowed. Mark only smiled focused on Jackson's childish expression and softening his face.

"Rough day? Why?" He finally asked slowly digging into his box and eating as slow. His legs pressed together so the box could rest in his lap.

"I don't know. People keep calling from everywhere, they want me to sign contracts, to arrange meetings, to make new contracts, to go to galas, cocktails. It's like I am the only one working in this eleven-floor building." He complained with a slurp of the noodles and taking another bite he had his mouth full, "How's been your day?" 

"Boring compared to yours." Mark chuckled heartedly covering his teeth with outer palm," Done some shootings, visited a couple of places and then went to buy food." He replied plainly as he bit into his noodles seeing Jackson nodding in understanding and eating, "Why don't we go somewhere, together?" 

"Huh? What's on your mind?" Jackson snapped his head up and placing the empty box on the glass table to eye Mark beautifully with puppy eyes and small frown.

"I... I passed by the newly opened restaurant and hotel. They are holding some kind of opening party so I booked a table and a room in a case it's too late after the show to go back home." Mark blurted out and he could swear his intentions were clear but Jackson just stared at him blankly. His eyebrows slowly raising up as he chuckled.

"Sounds nice actually. I would love to go, just let me cancel all the schedules for tonight." He said, dialing few numbers and moving the meetings for the day after really politely and skillfully which Mark admired really much. His heart fluttered when Jackson locked his eyes with him and smiled widely, "Done, I am all yours tonight." 

_'I wish.'_ Mark thought with a flutter of his heart. He smiled widely as well getting up from the seat, "Then we should go?" 

[***]

"Have you seen his face??" Jackson laughed as they both entered a booked room all tired and tipsy. Older's flannel undone completely as he threw his jacket on the couple bed. Mark smiled all the while at the tipsy and cheerful Jackson that stumbled to sit on the sofa cause he tripped on the carpet.

"I did. It was funny but you crossed the line there." Mark laughed softly sitting on the edge of the bed and placing his arms in his lap. He loved when Jackson was carefree and making jokes, "You can't say as perverted things as those!" 

"Sorry, mom I didn't recognize you."He said sarcastically with a laugh as he sipped his water, "Besides, dude came out nowhere and spilled the tea, literally." 

"So what? You don't get to say, he came all over her that's just rude." Mark continued to laugh wholeheartedly and hold his stomach, "Or... He fell hard? He was turned on by dancers, which I am sure we both would be if we were into it." 

"But he fell off the stage then? Isn't that he fell hard." Jackson joked leaning on his sofa and getting hand through his hair, "Into what? Pussies?"

"If you like to put it that way, then yes." boy rolled his eyes taking off his suit jacket and leaving it on Jackson's. Sitting on another sofa, as wine red walls surrounded them, and weak light from the laps enlightened the room.

"I liked that while ago though, but it ain't entertaining no more." He said as he lifted from his seat and walked over to the bathroom turning on the light and glancing down at Mark gently and somehow sad, "Thank you for bringing me out, I had a lot of fun." 

"I did too. You don't have to thank me, but I actually hoped we can talk?" He thoughtless and shut his mouth once he said that. But nodding Jackson approved biting into his lip.

"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about something important. Just give me a minute." He said entering a bathroom and closing the door. The black-haired male panicked obviously, his heart speeding up in his chest and heard in his ears. Was he really going to confess now? Why did he have a motor mouth while nervous? The door clicked and Jackson exited, water dropping from his strands as he said where he previously was.

"Okay. Who goes first?" He asked and Mark pointed on him with his head and being silent he listened, "The stocks you were willing to sell to my parents, are successfully sold. So, they are now in our possession and the money is transferred to your bank account this morning." 

"Really? That's great, thank you." He said softly nodding his head but the look Jackson held on his face wasn't a quite happy one as boy deeply frowned, "What is it?" 

"Honestly, I haven't wanted to pressure you to give me an answer but the way you acted quite showed me where we stand." He said with long exhale and shrug of the shoulders, "And... I'm sorry we don't stand on the same page about it. So, yesterday I called our lawyer to prepare papers for divorce... They came this morning and... when we get divorced you will get stocks back as your own and not your family's. I already signed the papers, I just need your signature."

Mark blinked, twice, thrice... What? Divorce? He came here with completely different intentions and only got the suggestion of a divorce. His lips agape as he stared at Jackson who was unable to look back as he lifted and held his head turning his back on Mark. Boy sucked the air unconsciously and dropped his eyes down, "What? Just what?" 

"Divorce? Isn't that what you wanted? To divorce and find something for yourself, to life simplistic?" Jackson asked turning around and resting his hands on his hips he looked down at the younger boy that rose his eyebrows.

"I never ever had mentioned divorce. It's not what I want actually, it never was?" he said more question like as he glared at Jackson who lifted his eyebrows in surprise.

"Then what is it that you want? You are giving me quite a tough time and mixed signals that I really can't read or misread. You say you don't want to divorce, but yet you are holding me on stand by for a whole month?" The male said a bit angry and frustrated throwing his hands in the air, "Tell me, Mark, what is it that you want cause I can't quite pinpoint what it is!" 

Without thinking, Mark lifted from his sofa walking over to Jackson and pressing his cherry plump lips against Jackson's plush and dry. Cupping his face he made a kiss more firm but again gentle and soft as his lips unmovingly stood against older's. Within a seconds he pulled back to speak, "You. I want you and only you, Jiaer. Do you understand now??" 

Jackson stared back, his eyes narrowed and confused like a lost puppy. His lips still agape and lower lip trembly as Mark gently held his cheeks and caressed them with his thumbs. The small smile tugged at Jackson's lips who chuckled, "Not quite, can you make your point again?" 

"As many times as needed." He said with a giggle, tilting his head aside he pressed his lips again against Jackson's and locked them in a sweet waltz. He was insecure in the kiss, but when strong hands gripped at his hips he gained the confidence to dance across Jackson's lips. Kiss soft and innocence prominent until Mark slid his tongue over which he soon got devouring Jackson's lips and pulling him closer as possible.

He slowly led them to bed and pulled Jackson on top of him to straddle his waist and gain dominance over the kiss that Mark did not complain at all. Gripping at Jackson's flannel he slid it off his shoulders and threw it down on the floor. Older sneaking his hands to Mark's flannel and breaking the kiss when he saw how messed it is to undo.

"Can I rip it?" He asked pantingly with a smirk that Mark only laughed and hit him against the broad and muscular chest, already sweaty from the heat of the moment they shared.

"No. This is my favorite one." He said as he slowly has undone it and pulled it over his head to lay it down on the floor. He gently pulled older male down for another passionate kiss grinding his hips up against Jackson's and for the first time he moaned with a small mewl like noise following. Jackson parted, staring down at the boy with a soft smile.

"That sounded so beautiful. You are so beautiful Yien." He said as he started leaving pampering kisses down smaller's sweaty and coconut-scented skin. Jackson nuzzled his nose against the faint trail of abs and in any other moment, Mark would say it tickles but now he only moaned cutely at the touch as shivers rose on his skin. 

Jackson kissed his belly button and around it, gently biting into the flash on hipbone and then trailing small bites up to boy's ribs as he started kissing them more firmly. The boy left a shaky whine and moan in the air when his trousers got undone and pulled down with his boxers at once. He blushed at the way Jackson observed him, with those deep chocolate puppy eyes as if he was a masterpiece.

"Yup. Beyond beautiful as I guessed." He chuckled leaning down to peck Mark's lips and flushed cheek getting up from the bed and opening the drawer. Thankfully people were aware someone was going to make love at hotels like these as few packages of condoms and lube were thrown on the bed.

"Be gentle... o-okay?" Mark said sucking the air sharply and jerking his growing erection off. His eyes going over to Jackson who was now completely naked and crawled back on the bed, his muscles flexing with each movement of his body, that Mark just embraced him and inhaled the smell of orchids from the crook of Jackson's neck.

"I will. Don't worry, you just relax kay?" He whispered, leaving a small peck on Mark's nose and opening the lube putting the quite amount on his fingers and pushing Mark's legs forward he sprawled the gel over boy's back entrance who shivered, "It's okay, focus on me, princess." He said as he kissed the boy gently on the lips trying to distract him when one finger slipped inside.

"Nghhh... Jacks it's w-weird." Mark mumbled into a kiss, moaning cutely in a breathless voice and wrapping his arms around Jackson's sweaty body. Older continued to kiss his lips passionately, nibbling on upper lip occasionally and sliding his tongue across plush cherry plump lips. He slipped another finger inside the tight hole as he was fed with most delicious moans, "GaGa... it hurts...ngh... ah...it hurts."

"It's okay, just temporary." He spoke into the kiss, as he scissored his fingers to stretch Mark more for his length. Not being a bottom even once made it the first time for Mark at the things like these and Jackson wanted to make it memorable.

"Move... ahh... move, please." He said pushing himself down on the fingers as Jackson crooked them and Mark's back arched beautifully from the sheets into Jackson. Pushed down when handheld onto his hip and another spread his legs apart. Mark covered his flushed face, mumbling incoherent words moan like.

"Don't cover, c'mon you are really beautiful," Jackson whined as he pulled Mark's hands from his face and kiss the knuckles gently and featherly that Mark moaned from the sight and wrapped his legs around the older male's waist.

Jackson ripped the package of condoms open with his teeth sliding it on his length and pouring some lube so the slide if smoother. Mark felt the tip poking at his entrance as he bit his lip, his body consumed with pleasure, loving the warmth of Jackson's hands on his waist. Loving the kisses all over his torso to distract him from the upcoming pain, but liking those lips mostly on his own as he pulled Jackson into a soft gentle kiss.

Older pushed the tip past the tight rim of muscles, groaning at the tightness and feeding Mark with a grunt. The unfamiliar object inside of the boy was something his body would naturally try to squeeze out as he tightened around the tip with unexplained pain in his lower half.

He kept on kissing Jackson's mouth and face, but his body trying to squeeze Jackson out. As expected older broke the kiss to lean his weight on Mark and prop on the elbow. The boy still held his face like something precious and bit into his lip wincing at the moving tip inside of him. Jackson only chuckled, brushing the wet strand from Mark's face behind his ear. His lips pressed to the boy's sweaty skin and beauty mark he had in the middle of his chest.

"I understand that this is your first time like this, but you need to relax ok?" Jackson asked kissing his belly button he loved the most, bitting the skin above until his lips started giving attention to Mark's left nipple and younger bit his knuckles not to leave any loud noise as he nodded.

Jackson pushed his hips a bit deeper, and a little bit easier than before feeling the warm tightness around him and Mark felt pain, lots of it that soon turned into a pleasure. Causing him to moan with no censor and the dirty little sensation to build up in the pit of his stomach.

He gripped Jackson's shoulders, throwing his head back with a beautiful moan and wriggling his hips down onto the length, "Move... it f-feels good... oh god..." He moaned breathlessly as Jackson started moving his hips at a slow pace grunting and licking his lips before he kissed Mark. He noticeably increased the pace, feeling pleasure in tight walls around him, and boy's moans, arches and oh god those mewls.

"You feel so good baby boy, I don't think I'll endure much longer." He said followed with a moan, as Mark was in too much pleasure to say anything but moan loudly. He arched his back and wrapped his legs tighter around the waist bringing Jackson closer and closer to him. Screaming silently in pleasure when Jackson hit the bundle of nerves that sent electricity through whole his body.

"I'm... ahh... I'm gonna come!" Mark yelled as he came all over his torso undone gripping Jackson's shoulders tightly. Jackson moving his hips at a constant pace until he felt he peek as well. Slipping out and taking the condom off he came all over the existing mess on Mark's abdomen. Both of them panting heavily, especially Mark.

Closing his eyes from tiredness, all he heard were heavy breaths and clock ticking in the corner. Wind hitting against the window and AC made him shiver from how sweaty he was. The extra weight was removed from the bed, as Mark peeked with one of his eyes at Jackson that carried a towel to clean the boy. Digging his knee into a mattress he leaned over, cleaning Mark's face from the sweat and that all the mess going on throwing the towel at the foot of the bed.

Barely lifting from the bed, Mark was able to move his pretty ass so Jackson could pull the covers over them and snuggle and Mark's side. The exhausted boy rolled over, half laying on Jackson's chest and hugging him around the waist. Older nuzzled into the black hair, kissing the crown and pulling Mark closer.

"I love you, Jackson," Mark said nonchalantly, keeping his eyes down and not looking at Jackson. Was this confession sudden? Was it too soon? But for the past month that he took to think, he felt like he was going to burst with everything under his skin "I'm s-sorry... it came out of blue." 

"You think too much. Stop it already. I am just shocked a little but I do love you too." Jackson nudged him and kissed his forehead once again as they shared the same pillow now. Mark staring at Jackson's eyes and smiling like an idiot for sure, "Stop over-thinking and get what you want." 

"I want to top next time?" He said with a smile propping on his elbows and smiling down at amused Jackson who soon frowned, "It's really weird being submissive." 

"Sorry hun, but that's the only thing you can't get." older replied laughing, kissing the pout away from boy's lips, pressing their lips into gentle kiss until he pulled back.

"You are an asshole." Mark scoffed curling at Jackson's side with a small giggle and pout on his lips. Kissing the salty skin of older's shoulder, he nuzzled against and soon they both fell asleep, holding each other gently and like they were supposed to.


	8. Ocean View

The day was hot and sun threw it ray against the send down the beach and everyone who happened to be there at the time. The yellow rays reflected against the water that was swaying back and forth in the shallow, smell of salt filling the air while sea birds were flying above in the open sky. No cloud to paint blank canvas of the sky, but birds and maybe some plains in the distance. Summer breeze was caressing everyone’s skin, and it was the life saver due to really hot day in _Copacabana, Rio da Janeiro. ___

__The palm trees were placed on the each side of the houses sometimes even near the beach but it was mostly hot and people weren’t actually complaining as they were used on the climate already. The male that now stepped in the front yard of his house, his feet touching the warm sand and making him jump a little before he got used to it, he inhaled the salty smell of the ocean and enjoyed the sounds that waves were making, splashing against the stones, rocks and sometimes against nothing. His hair was short and almost black, when he pushed wet strands of his forehead and squinted his eyes while looking in the distance. His hand hovering over his eyes so he can have a better view of people that were splashing themselves in the almost cold water. His shirt was undone by few button from the top and exposed his tanned chest, with two necklaces that shined against the sunrays. For some reason he thought it was a good idea to wear navy blue pants on the beach but he still went with it holding a camera in his veiny hands having a chain bracelet around his wrist._ _

__He smiled softly, his body consumed with a feeling of relaxation that he haven’t felt for past few years since he started being very famous and have a lots of fashion show to attend to, not to talk about the shootings he had to do for magazines and yet he never actually had time to relax and enjoy red wine, sitting on the balcony and swaying with the glass in his hand gently. Not to mention how his love life was affected, cause each time he would find someone he would lose them as soon as he would get them. Cause, they weren’t patient with him, they never liked to wait for him till late hours and they certainly didn’t like the small amount of time male gifted them once in a while. So he somehow learned to live without it._ _

__He sat on the beach, closing his eyes and enjoying the warm feeling under his butt and hands, how the each grain of the sand was insensible as if he was sitting on the powder. Finding a rocks and throwing them into the ocean, while his eyes sparkled in anticipation. He finally was on vacation starting from the yesterday evening when he came to the place and unlocked his own penthouse. Throwing himself on the bed in the centre of the room, having a great view of the ocean and the stars with the moon reflecting in the calm water beneath. He just laid there for couple of hours, thinking and relaxing at some point he saw a male like figure working near the ocean on the small deck but he couldn’t quite pinpoint how he looked from the darkness._ _

__It was his day, better say 10 days at max maybe more if he decided to postpone his work. He took a camera and tried to make a great shots for himself, for his photo collection that was huge and really aesthetic. Trying to catch anything that was extra ordinary or pretty for eye as those were the ocean, the palms, sand and small crab in it, he wanted to catch the picture of the breeze that caressed his hair but he knew that was not possible. He chuckled to himself, his hand going through his tousled hair and inhaled once more but the next time he opened his eyes he was stunned. Sight he just spotted was amazing, and really ethereal for his brain to process. It probably was the male from previous night, he wasn’t sure but something about the way he sat on the docks and swayed with his legs while wearing creamy white overall that was unhooked from one of his arms and rested loosely against his side while he wore grey sleeveless top and small hat on top of his soft fluffy hair._ _

__The sun was shining against his soft and for some reason milky white skin. Jackson could quite catch his face from the distance when he took the camera and used its focus to zoom the boy or better say male maybe about his age looking at the ocean in the distance and his eyes seemingly sad or absent with fluffy brown bangs falling over his forehead. He wished his camera could catch what he saw with his own eyes, but sight was too beautiful to capture but still was good as the picture. Boy seemed to sense someone looking at him as his head turned towards the objective of the camera and furrowing his eyebrows slightly at the other male._ _

__Jackson, the male with camera, knew he ruined someone’s privacy by taking those pictures as he slowly lifted on his feet and walked over where the male was standing on his feet now and his eyebrows still furrowed slightly looking at the male in front of him before speaking in soft voice, above whisper in what seemed to be Portuguese which Jackson to be honest didn’t know when he replied swaying with his hands in front of his chest in the way that told the other he didn’t speak the language, “Speak English?”_ _

__The male asked, and the other just nodded his head slowly, his expression softening a little as he inhaled deeply. The side of his torso visible through the crop of the shirt and exposing a Romanian numbers formed in two dates which seemed like two birthdays. He lifted his head to look at the hazelnut eyes of the smaller male and spoke, “I’m photographing the sight, and you sitting here was way too stunning.”_ _

__“You...” The male seemed taken a back a bit but composed himself to speak in fluent English Jackson understood. “You know you corrupt someone’s privacy like that right?”_ _

__“Yeah, that’s why I came here to apologise.” Jackson replied softly with huge smile, he never had a problem with confidence level or with the way to express it but he wasn’t egotistic, nor egocentric but he had a kind and really genuine heart that looked over the people and their needs. He scanned the male in front of him and even from the such short distance he was well built, perfect waist, fragile and thin fingers, smooth and soft skin, lips cheery and plush, the male was just perfect. He could notice male looked at him the same way from head to toes and than at his eyes with no shame what so ever._ _

__“It’s okay, just... next time ask if you can take the picture.” The male spoke and threw his look down, straightening himself a bit more and than again looking at the latter with hazelnut eyes and small smile curling his lips before he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and sucked on it gently which Jackson found as a great distraction and temptation. He smirked a little stepping a bit closer to the smaller who did not step back but stood glued to the ground. He spoke in low husky voice his eyes in dark shade of brown looking for the depths of the other who looked back at him, “You say there will be next time?”_ _

__“Not just one.” Boy like man said with a huge smile gracing over his features as he spoke in whisper in the space between him and Jackson, his peppermint breath sensed on Jackson’s skin and Jackson made one more step to the male that just took one step back as if he was teasing Jackson who just chuckled to himself and got his hand through his hair. “You got me. I can’t help myself when I see masterpiece."_ _

__“You calling me a _masterpiece ?” latter giggled softly, his back touching the wooden stature for which small boats were hooked and Jackson just closed the distance, pressing male a bit harder against the wooden stature, his hand finding their way to male’s perfect hips with his thigh between the two of the male’s and their faces so close, Jackson could see the salvia glistening on the lips of the person he held and he could see mischievous look in his hazelnut eyes that looked at his own lips and than at Jackson’s eyes, and Jackson spoke, “Yes, the one I would gladly nail up against the wall in my bedroom.”__ _

___Jackson breathed steadily, something about this man, boy, guy was pulling him into the charade of irrational thoughts and made him talk the way he did, not knowing he still had in him after a long time he spend being single and without one night stand. He was proud on himself feeling their breaths mingling together, the small space between them heated and bodies moved sensually as the fragile hand of the boy traced the fingertips over the exposed skin of Jackson’s torso._ _ _

___“Sounds... nghh... inviting...” he said with hot gasp leaving past his lips and Jackson tilted his head aside until the distance between them was almost closed but he had no intention of kissing the male cause, well the night is long enough and not so far from now. “Really? Than what about 7? Penthouse behind.”_ _ _

___“The one with the pool?” The latter looked up to Jackson’s eyes softly, naughty grin over his face as Jackson nodded slowly, lining himself with the male’s ear and tracing his lips over his earlobe which was barely sensible to the smaller male. “ Mhm. We don’t have to stop on just wall.”_ _ _

___The male giggled softly, spinning their positions so now Jackson was pressed against the wooden stature looking at the other who just squinted his eyes before replying straight into Jackson’s face with a wide grin showing the perfect pearls of the latter when he spoke in a voice above the whisper, “I haven’t planned on to.”_ _ _

___The boy pulled back, his hand detaching from the slightly taller male’s chest and he pulled his bottom lip once again between his teeth and sucked on it while gazing out to Jackson for couple of seconds, giggling once again and pushing Jackson slightly before walking off slowly and the other was simply stunned and proud with situation when he figured out he haven’t asked for his name. “Wait!.” He shouted with a chuckle and another turned around with the smirk knowing what Jackson was gonna ask and replied, “It’s Mark, Marco. How ever you prefer.” He said and disappeared behind the small cottage and the taller just stood there surprised how easy this was and yet how he ain’t gonna regret this night._ _ _

___Later that day, sun was setting and colouring the sky in the yellow, orange, red and blue that blended among each other and gave a perfect view from the place in penthouse Jackson was standing in. The sky was mirrored in the calm and quiet ocean with small waves ruining the perfect blend of the sky as sun was leaving its last rays in the water that sparkled as if the diamond floated on the surface. The room was in a shade of purple, against the walls in wide room with kitchen on the side and big bed in the middle, having a table behind with two chairs and stairs for the inside mezzanine where was a small couch with library._ _ _

___Bed was done perfectly, silken case put over pillow as and duvet while the velvet like fabric in shade of dark wine was tossed over the edge of the bed over the folded duvet. The two glass of red wine were filled and waiting on the table behind Jackson who held third one and was sitting now on the balcony where he had chairs to relax and look at the pool whose underwater lights just turned on and made the water blue as the today’s sky. He swayed with his, the liquid inside the glass wavy and Jackson slowly sipped the substance and it went down his throat leaving a bitter sensation on his tongue. His black flannel was completely undone, exposing his chest and rock hard abs as he wore the black pants and his legs rested in the small portion of the balcony that was filled with the water by the pool and summer breeze went a bit colder but he didn’t mind the sensation of goose bumps down his spine._ _ _

___The door bell rang, and Jackson’s insides heated in anticipation when he slowly got up from the chair on the balcony placing empty glass in the sink and gently curling his hand around the knob and twisting it. He chuckled softly in amazement at the sight in front of him once again. Mark was stunning less to say aw he wore white top and see through blue shirt over it, beige shorts going down to his knees and hair messily sprawled over his forehead with the small gap between the strands. His hazelnut eyes scanning Jackson from head to toes, small smirk rolling his face when his eyes met latter’s._ _ _

___“Come in.” He said moving from the door, to let smaller pass the door frame and look around the house that was dimly enlightened with the candle on the table where the wine was. Its flame danced against the breeze and Mark traced his finger tips over the baby blue walls and looking at the inner mezzanine. His eyes sparkly and face surprised, amused with how big penthouse was and how a beautiful view Jackson had from it._ _ _

___Jackson trailed behind him, his fingers reaching for the glass of wine he poured and than for another one in his other hand. He walked over to where Mark was standing looking at the sunset, sun almost drowning in the ocean and light almost dying when Jacks spoke in soft raspy and husky voice, “I didn’t know what you prefer, hope you like red?”_ _ _

___Mark turned around to take the glass with small nod and swayed with the glass gently before inhaling the smell from the wine like a professional before sipping and than speaking with a soft chuckle, “Corton Renardes, 2009... Nice. We flying rich I see.”_ _ _

___“I see you know about the wines. Hot I must say.” Jackson chuckled leaning on the balcony frame and drinking the glass in one go, bitter taste on his tongue and body warmer than before and he looked at the latter who did the same, liquid on the bottom of the glass was quickly swallowed when Jackson approached the table to pick up the bottle that he opened before._ _ _

___“I worked for the man that was making wines.” The other chuckled a little outstretching his glass to Jackson to refill it and this time he didn’t stop on the bottom of the glass but went whole way to almost top. Mark didn’t seem to mind but too actually enjoy the fullness of the glass he elegantly held in his fragile hands and took few gulps from the same, droplet of wine going down his plump cherry lips he slowly licked of with his tongue looking at Jackson who tried to hide the fact he was staring intensively._ _ _

___“Worked?” Jackson asked raising his eyebrow and leaning on the table while Mark stood right in front of him drinking his wine and leaning against the wall. The cold breeze stricken through the open door to the balcony and the flame of the candle again danced on the wind before it died. The flame died with the last gulp of the wine Jackson made, feeling the body pressed against his and quiet clicking of the glass being placed on the table he was leaning against. Fragile hands travelled up his torso to the edges of the shirt he wore and gripped tightly there, peppermint breath felt on his face. His hand immediately hooking onto Mark’s hipbones and tightening his hold on them as he heard the other one speak in a seducing whisper, “Why don’t we skip a small chit-chats and do what we are here for? Mhm?”_ _ _

___“Pardon, where are my manners at.” Jackson joked a little with small exhale of the air, he felt smaller already grinding against his growing erection when he slowly but surely closed the painful gap between their lips, not waiting a second to start a lustful dance with the soft lips that rested against his own. Meekness of Mark’s lips were addicting and he couldn’t simply stop, or say no to small bites and nibbles on his lips, he couldn’t say no to the messy battle of tongues and teeth that came right after that, couldn’t say no to the shirt that was unhooked from his shoulders and threw on the floor. He liked the fingers that lingered down his abs and onto the belt of the pants where they hooked and pulled him closer._ _ _

___The heat built up in his body, his hands now firmly resting on other’s butt and massaging the cheeks, drawing a small moan out of the male he kissed and he enjoyed. He loved how adrenaline rose up in his body, how his heart beat against the ribcage and he felt content. His hand went up to the light brown locks and he fisted them jerking Mark’s head back and attaching to his flawless neck. Mark left a gasp past his lips, his hand stumbled over to undo latter’s belt which he soon did throwing it on the floor and hearing it clang against the concrete floor. The smaller detached from the taller one, panting and pointing at the pants Jackson wore and that were unzipped and half down thanks to Mark, “Those, off.”_ _ _

___He said as he walked over to balcony, stepping outside his feet soaking in water before he looked over his shoulder, moonlight casting a silver shadow over his features, cheekbones, pointy nose and smooth skin of the face in general, enlightening the small mischievous smile he gad before jumping into the pool. Jackson gulped hard for some reason, smirk plastered on his face when he kicked the pants off and now was only in tight Calvin Klein boxers. Approaching the pool, he grinned at the figure that was swimming comfortably in the clothes now fully wet as the light brown hair that was pushed back by smaller. His faint abs were visible over the shirt as well as the tattoo he had on the side of his abdomen. Jackson’s painfully hard member was held by the boxers when he jumped into the pool and chased after Mark who was yet again teasing with his running away._ _ _

___At some point Jackson curled his fingers around the thin wrist of the later, slamming him against the pool wall in the corner and pressed their bodies together, caging the smaller male against the dead end. His almost black strands dripped with water onto his face and over his bottom lip, his hands trapped Mark’s against his own back forcing Mark to be so close to him while their feet touched the ground. “Hot...”_ _ _

___Mark uttered, small gasp leaving past his cherry plump lips when he worked his way out of the cage and tried to swim to the other corner but Jackson was faster pulling him for the waist into the hungry kiss Mark didn’t mind when he clenched a fist in the dark brown locks and pulled the older man closer into a really messy make out session. His legs locking around Jackson’s waist as he swam them to the other deeper corner of the pool and caged Mark yet again. They both ground into each other, moaning as if they were the only ones in the world and if no one could hear them, even the idea of someone seeing them or hearing them just boosted adrenaline through their veins and the kiss grew heated. Jackson pulled down the shorts Mark had and the boxers followed soon enough. They broke the kiss so Mark could pull them the rest way down as they soon started floating on the surface of the pool and smaller hard on sprung free in the water and against Jackson’s._ _ _

___Both of them moaned into the kiss, the grip on Jackson’s lock tightened and Mark rose above the water supported by Jackson’s shoulder and leaned down to line himself with the wet earlobe with two piercings to whisper lowly almost like a seductive growl, “ _Jódeme como la puta que soy _(Fuck me like the whore I am.)”___ _ _

_____He said in what to Jackson seemed like Spanish, at to who it was a huge turn on attacking the flawless neck and the chest as much as the white top allowed, biting and sucking, kissing and teasing. His two fingers working the way inside of Mark who moaned throwing his head behind and pulling his bottom lip between his teeth closing his eyes. His breath now shortened, toes curling around the water as Jackson hit right spot everywhere he worked on and that sent shivers down smaller’s spine. “Fuck!”_ _ _ _ _

_____Mark said arching his back and Jackson knew what to do when he pulled his own boxers down enough for his member to break free and rub over the sensitive hole. He teased looking at the expressions younger was making and when he slid in it was memorable. Smaller’s jaw hung open and his eyes wide choking on the moan that came from the back of his throat, stings of pain felt in the back of the older’s head but he ignored focusing on how to please the male. Soon small moans and groans filled the air when he moved his hips back and forth, each time going deeper and rougher, not caring about the begs and pleads that were heard from latter but he wasn’t even sure for what he was begging all he knew was that the hold around his waist was tightening. He too was close when he slammed hard inside Mark who cursed out loud, sound lost in the night and gentle hand grasped Jackson’s shoulders. With few more thrusts he felt himself draining into the latter while still rocking his hips in great force and jerking the male under surface teasing the tip. Seconds later Mark came with a loud moan, a white spurt of the cum noticed under the water and both of them panted holding onto each other._ _ _ _ _

_____“That was...” Mark started talking as panting, his hazelnut eyes half closed when he locked his stare with Jackson’s still holding onto his shoulders as their hair dripped with water._ _ _ _ _

_____“Amazing, hot, wild?” Jackson continued the sentence inhaling deeply to compose his breath, pulling the front side of boxers up and than latched on to other’s hips that still trembled from orgasm. The other hit him on the chest, pushing himself to sit on the edge of the pool and lift on his wobbly legs looking at Jackson. “I wanted to say not enough, but why not. Suit yourself.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Round two?” Jackson chuckled as Mark was already taking of his top and shirt throwing them down and crawling on the bed seductively arching his back and dripping wet on the silken sheets that got darker shade of grey when with his index finger he was inviting Jackson to one more round. Well night is long, ain’t it?_ _ _ _ _

_____The sheets must have dried during the night, when Jackson lazily rolled in the bed that was completely dry. The silken duvet tossed over his lower half and hands resting under the pillow his head was, the bare skin touching the silken material and made him snuggle more into the feeling. Small stings of pain still vibrating in the back of his head but he was used to it when he lowly groaned before turning on his back. Sun stricken right into his eyes, and the sea birds were heard outside its sound joining the sound of the waves splashing in shallow on the beach as he lazily opened his eyes._ _ _ _ _

_____He looked at the ocean through the window sitting on the soft mattress and his eyes were locked on the blue shirt and white top that were bathing in the portion of the balcony by the pool filled with water, while beige shorts and red boxers were still floating in the pool that shined under the sunrays. Jackson turned his head to gaze over his shoulder knowing the very familiar figure he would see wrapped in the sheets and sleeping peacefully. Hair messy and curly, sprawled over the tiny forehead, hickeys lathering the upper portion of his tiny body, down his collarbones, neck, chest and all the way under the duvet where Jackson’s look couldn’t reach. The purple welts formed around Mark’s wrist from the belt they used previous night, room smelling on alcohol cause they broke wine bottle while playing around on the table._ _ _ _ _

_____The picture on the wall was unhooked and fell on the floor, small stains of blood colouring the baby blue wall, blood from how rough Mark begged him to slam in him, abuse his walls and he complied. He had not ever felt the rush of excitement as the previous night, morning, call it what ever you want. He had not ever like ever had so much fun and so much relaxation in past few years, and he loved the feeling of burning sensation on his back from the scratches Mark gave him. He wondered why the boy haven’t left, cause usually his one night stands would be gone by the time he wakes up but Mark was there and it made his heart swell a little. But maybe it probably was cause he was exhausted, and wrecked but he still looked pretty laying there. His lashes contrasting the skin and Jackson took camera that was next to the bed to capture the sight if not for the voice that was as whisper, “Private policy, remember?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“I couldn’t help it. Sorry.” He replied softly, looking at the hazelnut eyes of the boy’s half opened lids, smile curled his plump cherry lips as he chuckled, “It’s okay... I was joking.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Mark turned on his back, hissing slightly from the pain and outstretching his body against the sheets and than smiling tenderly at Jackson. His eyes dancing around the room and he chuckled at the mess they made, not minding the hickeys or bruises around his wrist. “We demolished the place completely.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“It doesn’t matter, I’ll just have people clean it.” Jackson said laying down next to Mark on his pillow. The latter looked at him fondly and gently with a small smile, “Sorry if I was rough.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“You were but I asked you to so don’t worry. I enjoyed it really much.” He said and caressed the apple of Jackson’s cheek carefully, and Jackson’s heart swelled once again cause Mark now and Mark previous night were complete paradox._ _ _ _ _

_____“Me too. It was... amazing.” The older replied leaning into touch looking over at the clock it almost showing a noon, almost lunch time hearing his stomach growl lowly. “It’s almost lunch time, are you hungry?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“What?” The soft expression from boy’s face was almost turned into one of pure shock frantically looking over the room in a search of the clock, sitting straight on the mattress and wincing from pain. “What time is it??”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Ten to noon.” Jackson replied sitting up and looking at the boy that searched for his clothes that were wet and useless at the moment, “What’s wrong?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“I have to go. Like really, how could I sleep in.” Mark uttered approaching the bed and pleadingly staring to Jackson, “Can you borrow me your clothes, please.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“I can but what’s wrong?” he said, quickly going to the cupboard and pulled underwear, white long sleeved cotton sweater, t-shirt and some blue pants and handing it over to Mark who pulled everything on him as fast as possible, everything hanging from him and showing the hickeys that lathered his skin, “I have a meeting with an important person.”_ _ _ _ _

_____He soon hurriedly disappeared behind the door, leaving the taller standing in the middle of room, his head throbbing and back aching when he plopped onto the soft mattress of the bed. His hand curled into the fists against the silken sheets, and smiling a little knowing this was the goodbye after one night stand that so far was the best one he had. His head glancing over the shoulder, to the camera laying on the bed with display turned on and the picture of Mark sleeping was over the screen. Though he wasn’t actually sleeping with his lids half opened and staring tenderly at him over the arm that rested in front of his face. Hair messy going into every direction, and over the forehead._ _ _ _ _

_____He dressed up, pulling the loose shirt of dark red wine velvet fabric and some pants, lifting the painting that was unhooked from the wall and hanging it again, picking the wet clothes of the other one and were soaking wet and tossing them over the railing of the balcony to dry in a case Mark returns for them. Not minding the clothes he gave him, cause those weren’t fitting him anyhow. He cleaned the broken glass of the wine and straightened the table where they fucked, dry cum visible over the shiny surface of it and Jackson’s stomach flipped and how good the sight of Mark pleasing himself on the table was. Everything Mark did was beautiful less to say and if there was any other case scenario he sure would take the same person on a real date. But as Mark said, has someone important already, and being with Jackson was just the way to vent._ _ _ _ _

_____Jackson exhaled, cleaning the remainings of the glass and the wine that was dry on the concrete floor. True he could just call people to do that for him, but he came on vacation and rather not deal with people unless it’s... well Mark. He took a rag and soaked it with alcohol before scrubbing the blood from the wall and showing the dark red and really intimate colour of wall showed, the previous colour of the paint and that haven’t actually helped. He left the rag and with lazy steps he climbed the stairs to the mezzanine, going over to the corner with the work desk and small photo printer, with a photo albums scattered over it and pictures that haven’t been glued yet._ _ _ _ _

_____Small printer a programmed started printing new taken photos from Jackson’s camera who just sat down on the chair and collected all of the old pictures in one pile and discarding them aside as new pictures found their way out of the printer. Jackson waited for the two or three specific ones and quickly picked them up, opening the album and gluing the photos of Mark in it after which he just glued the matching pictures of nature next to them. The page was less to say ethereal, aesthetic, stunning or beautiful, the boy’s features were flawless and the bruises that on one picture bloomed across his milky white skin matched the pic of the beach with purple flowers in the corner, his almost hazel eyes matched the colour of the ocean and palm tree’s leaves, all in all Mark to him was a nature, something that was always missing in the picture. He traced his fingers over the photos smiling softly, knowing this beauty will be hard to forget._ _ _ _ _

_____The vacation passed by really quickly and Jackson was getting more tired than rested, at least that was the case few days after his night with Mark. Now he was let’s say unbothered, laying on his bed and looking at the ocean, occasionally going on the balcony to see if Mark was anywhere around but he wasn’t. Actually he saw him couple of times after the shared night, the dock boards were creaking under his weight late at night and Jackson woke up due to sound and got to the balcony lazily to see Mark sitting on the dock leaning against wooden stature for a couple of moments and than he would leave hurriedly into opposite direction of Jackson’s house._ _ _ _ _

_____Maybe he felt weird and maybe regretful after the night to vent. Maybe he felt off so he looked for someone to wreck him so he can scream for a reason. Jackson didn’t know but he felt sorry as if he did something bad for Mark to avoid him. Not that he should care about his one night stands but he did, he wondered whether the purple welts around the wrist ached, was his back in pain and are his private parts okay after bleeding. He was concerned not to lie, when he turned and tossed the last piece if garment in suitcase on the floor. Tomorrow he’ll be leaving, and maybe the change of environment made him feel the way he did hoping it all would get to normal after he returns to work._ _ _ _ _

_____Day passed really quickly, empty glasses of red wine were discarded in the sink, bottles were thrown in the trash, albums were placed inside the bag with the camera that rested next to zipped suitcase. He moved them under the sink closing the door to make a more space. He inhaled and exhaled deeply, getting his hand through his tousled hair, clock ticking almost 11 pm when he slowly undid the creamy see through flannel he wore and gazed out at the ocean with small smile when he plopped himself on the bed. But as he did so the door bell rang out in the cold room where AV was working when he shivered, thinking it was pool cleaner that came for her pay check. He took it from the table and slowly opened the door saying, “Here’s your pay check.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Uhm... “ The low yet soft voice pulled him out of the trance when he widened his eyes at the person standing on the door frame. His mouth slightly agape to see Mark, holding a paper bag in his hands and wearing the long-sleeved cotton shirt paired with denim jeans. His hazelnut eyes peeking at Jackson, and light brown hair brushed on each side if his head exposing his forehead, “ Is this how much you pay anyone for sleeping with you? If yes I could be nailed up against wall more often.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“I... I thought you won’t come back.” Jackson uttered with a chuckle, moving from the door to let the door to let the smaller male inside. Mark looking at him meaningfully, small smile curled on his lips when he entered the penthouse looking around as if he was there for the first time, “And I thought it was really rude of me to leave like that after an amazing night I had. So... I hope you like street food?”_ _ _ _ _

_____The taller male furrowed his eyebrows, grin growing on his face when he got his hand through his tousled hair and dropped his gaze down. One hand resting on his hip while another one rested fisted in his almost black hair. Feeling happy about whole situation he nodded his head. “Yeah, I actually do. You can put it on the table.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Good.” He said and it wasn’t uneasy or uncomfortable it was quite nice standing in the room with small noises as the squishing of the paper bag and clacking of the plates being pulled from upper cabinets and clicking against the surface of the table so lightly when they were put. Mark took out small boxes of the food that really smelled nice, and than outstretch his hand to give the bag to Jackson, “The clothes I borrowed are there. I washed them so you don’t have to.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Why would I do that?” Jackson asked with a chuckle, putting bag aside on the floor and Mark shrugged with his shoulders slightly as his lips were pressed in thin line before he relaxed them sitting on the chair for the table and leaning his head on his palm. Jackson shook his head gently before turning around and opening a door of the storage-like closet next to the fridge and pulling out both red and white wine and showing them to Mark who only pointed at the red one with his finger and spoke, “I’ll get glasses.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Cabinet, above the stove.” The man said in low husky voice, opening the wine bottle on the sink counter and Mark lifted on his toes to take two glasses and as his sleeves fell to his elbows in the process and Jackson couldn’t help but glance at boy’s arms, yellow-greenish welt around his wrist from the belt, still hasn’t healed well, small hickeys still were visible on his neck, almost faded and boy didn’t seemed bothered by that. Putting two glasses on the sink and looking at them before at Jackson who already approached to stand behind him, and trace his fingertips over the welts. He leaned over smaller’s shoulder, inhaling the smell of jasmine._ _ _ _ _

_____Mark’s head was cocked aside, staring at Jackson and than his lips before whispering softly, “It doesn’t hurt.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“But they still haven’t healed well.” He said and tilted his head to Mark, puppy eyes piercing him softly. Mark spun around, now face to face with Jackson, his hands folded in his lap as he pulled the sleeves down firmly. His head lifting and soft gaze locking with latter’s, his almost hazel pupils shined under the light in the room and silver shadow casted upon the side that was closer to the huge window. He shook his head firmly, Jackson took a step back so he could make space for Mark to breath. “If I could have gone through time, I wouldn’t be so rough with the belt.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“If you are so worried about them than next time just be more gentle.” Mark sighed and rolled his eyes, locking them with dark brown ones seconds later and as if Jackson’s stomach flipped that way he rose his eyebrows small mischievous grin appeared on his face when he stepped back, caging Mark against the counter which seemed to be the position he preferred. Jackson’s hand snuck to the perfect jawline of the male, his fingers angling other’s head and his other palm resting against the hipbone of the other. His breath mingling with the latter’s, their lips almost brushing against each other when Jackson’s whispered, “ What if that next time is now?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“I wouldn’t mind at all...” The other man said with a stern eyes, half closed soon enough and slowly sucking on his bottom lip. His head snapping and leaning up so their noses brushed against each other as his fingertips ghosted over the abs that tensed under the touch giving a better surface to touch. Mark loved it, and he too loved when Jackson’s strong hand gripped his wrist and prevented him from touching lower as the boy intended to. Jackson spun them around and gently pushed the male on the silken sheets crawling between his legs as another propped himself on the elbows eager for the kiss he soon got._ _ _ _ _

_____The brown haired male gently nibbled on the soft, plush cherry plump lips, inviting the gasp that got lost in the air. The light brown bangs were sprawled over the velvet fabric over the duvet, their lips dancing really tenderly together and it all seemed surreal. Jackson broke the kiss to sit on his heels, and take off the cream flannel he wore and undo his belt and Mark did the same taking off his cotton shirt and discarding it on the side to half hang from the bed until it fell with a light thud. He kicked his jeans off too, and as soon as he did it Jackson was on top of him, grinding his hips down and trailing his lips down the milky white torso covered with old bruises a hickeys. Brushing his fingertips over the each and every dent and bump of Mark’s torso, over the faint outline of the abs until the muscles tightened from the electricity going down his spine. Small whines and whimpers heard from the latter as Jackson attached to his lips and kissed the corners, than the seam of the lips and the curve before he pulled back to look at Mark._ _ _ _ _

_____Mark’s eyes sparkly, mischievousness no where to be found as only tenderness, softness and beauty were present. Mark’s bottom lip shined against the silver rays, and the spark in his eyes quivered laying down. Jackson smiled softly taking boy’s wrist in his own and kissing the yellow-greenish welts that made other confused as he still looked at Jackson. He smiled a little when the taller man brushed his apple of the cheek against the welts and kissed them again. And he loved this new found feeling of serenity, and safety for some reason as soon both of them were naked completely, their bodies pressed against each other and moving against the same, their arms sensually dancing from the silken sheets to black locks to firm and hard abs to soft and flawless neck. Danced over the apples of their cheeks, and perfect jawlines. Hands gripping the shoulders and leaving marks down shoulder blades, noises in the room were like melody for Jackson’s ears, like a lullaby he would listen before the sleep as he was gently rolling with his hips and Mark arched his back and bucked his hips with each roll. And, once again both of them wandered down the road of delusions allowing themselves to enjoy irrationality and their own world forgetting about reality._ _ _ _ _

_____Morning came really quickly for Jackson’s likings, he was stricken with the sudden piece of reality he woke up to and he couldn’t help the tightening feeling in his chest when he once again saw Mark peacefully sleeping next to him, dressed in his creamy white flannel and curled against the sheets half wrapped into the duvet. It was hard to get up from the bed and than just lean against the counter to observe undescribed beauty laying in there. Lots of things were going on inside his head, and one if the most was... he was leaving in less than hour. He could’ve postponed his flight for another week if he hasn’t confirmed it previous morning, hasn’t packed himself and already scheduled shootings for tomorrow thinking Mark won’t be back yet he got him the last second. He came to him, he apologised and they once again slept together._ _ _ _ _

_____If it was a regular nightstand he would usually have, he wouldn’t have felt guilt building up his chest for leaving, cause never once it was hard for him to leave. The feeling that consumed him previous night was different from just sex, he knew there were feeling involved no matter how stupid it sounded or pathetic he knew he attached feelings for the person asleep. It’s not like he haven’t felt anything attach to him, cause after they were done Jackson was almost asleep if not for the fingers that he felt playing with his hair sensually. He felt a light peck on his lips as well and no one does that unless they mean it._ _ _ _ _

_____His arms were crossed against his chest, staring down and thinking whether he should wake Mark up. He looked so calm, carefree and pretty while laying there, inhaling and exhaling shallowly, and heavy. His lips slightly agape and hair messy. Jackson inhaled deeply, deciding not to wake him up as he took a piece of paper and scribbled over it against the counter writing a small message like note and than squatted down to the beg and pulled out the album where Mark photos were, taking one of them he placed a note instead of the picture and left it on the edge of the bed. The picture he took going down his pocket and the keys from penthouse lightly jiggled when he placed them over the photo album with small turtle charm._ _ _ _ _

_____He feared if he kisses Mark’s cheek he will wake him up and he didn’t want that as he slowly took his suitcase and the bag. Glancing once more at the fragile and beautiful man in the meek bed before going over the door frame and closing the door gently._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

______If you feel the same way I do Mark, I hope you will wait for me cause I’ll be back, promise._ _ _ _ _ _

______Jackson ____ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it


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